Hey! Come derry dol!  Hop along, my hearties! Hobbits!  Ponies all!  We are fond of parties. Now let the fun begin!  Let us sing together!\n-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Hey! now!  Come hoy now!  Whither do you wander? Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder? Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin, White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!\n-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Hey, diddle, diddle the overflow pdl To get a little more stack; If that's not enough then you lose it all And have to pop all the way back.
Hickory Dickory Dock, The mice ran up the clock, The clock struck one, The others escaped with minor injuries.
Higgeldy Piggeldy, Hamlet of Elsinore Ruffled the critics by Dropping this bomb: "Phooey on Freud and his Psychoanalysis -- Oedipus, Shmoedipus, I just love Mom."
...his disciples lead him in; he just does the rest.\n-- The Who, "Tommy"
History is curious stuff\nYou'd think by now we had enough Yet the fact remains I fear\nThey make more of it every year.
Ho! Ho! Ho! to the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe. Rain may fall and wind may blow, And many miles be still to go, But under a tall tree I will lie, And let the clouds go sailing by.\n-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by reed and willow, By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!\n-- J. R. R. Tolkien
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?\n-- Pink Floyd
How doth the little crocodile\nImprove his shining tail, And pour the waters of the Nile\nOn every golden scale! How cheerfully he seems to grin,\nHow neatly spreads his claws, And welcomes little fishes in,\nWith gently smiling jaws!\n-- Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"
How doth the VAX's C-compiler\nImprove its object code. And even as we speak does it\nIncrease the system load. How patiently it seems to run\nAnd spit out error flags, While users, with frustration, all\nTear their clothes to rags.
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall! All the king's horses, And all the king's men, Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again!
I B M U B M We all B M For I B M!!!!\n-- H.A.R.L.I.E.
I can live without Someone I love But not without Someone I need.\n-- "Safety"
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.\n-- Joe Walsh
I don't know what Descartes' got, But booze can do what Kant cannot.\n-- Mike Cross
I don't wanna argue, and I don't wanna fight, But there will definitely be a party tonight...
I don't want a pickle,\nI just wanna ride on my motorsickle. And I don't want to die,\nI just want to ride on my motorcy. Cle.\n-- Arlo Guthrie
I have learned To spell hors d'oeuvres Which still grates on Some people's n'oeuvres.\n-- Warren Knox
I have lots of things in my pockets; None of them is worth anything. Sociopolitical whines aside, Gan you give me, gratis, free, The price of half a gallon Of Gallo extra bad And most of the bus fare home.
I have no doubt the Devil grins, As seas of ink I spatter. Ye gods, forgive my "literary" sins-- The other kind don't matter.\n-- Robert W. Service
I have that old biological urge, I have that old irresistible surge, I'm hungry.
I lately lost a preposition; It hid, I thought, beneath my chair And angrily I cried, "Perdition! Up from out of under there." Correctness is my vade mecum, And straggling phrases I abhor, And yet I wondered, "What should he come Up from out of under for?"\n-- Morris Bishop
I must Create a System, or be enslav'd by another Man's; I will not Reason and Compare; my business is to Create.\n-- William Blake, "Jerusalem"
I owe, I owe, It's off to work I go...
I really hate this damned machine I wish that they would sell it. It never does quite what I want But only what I tell it.
"I said, "Preacher, give me strength for round 5." He said,"What you need is to grow up, son." I said,"Growin' up leads to growin' old, And then to dying, and to me that don't sound like much fun."\n-- John Cougar, "The Authority Song"
I saw a man pursuing the Horizon, 'Round and round they sped. I was disturbed at this, I accosted the man, "It is futile," I said. "You can never--" "You lie!" He cried, and ran on.\n-- Stephen Crane
I see a bad moon rising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightnin' I see bad times today. Don't go 'round tonight, It's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise.\n-- J. C. Fogerty, "Bad Moon Rising"
I stood on the leading edge, The eastern seaboard at my feet. "Jump!" said Yoko Ono I'm too scared and good-looking, I cried. Go on and give it a try, Why prolong the agony, all men must die.\n-- Roger Waters, "The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking"
I think that I shall never hear A poem lovelier than beer. The stuff that Joe's Bar has on tap, With golden base and snowy cap. The stuff that I can drink all day Until my mem'ry melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear But only Schlitz can make a beer.
I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall I'll never see a tree at all.\n-- Ogden Nash
I think that I shall never see A thing as lovely as a tree. But as you see the trees have gone They went this morning with the dawn. A logging firm from out of town Came and chopped the trees all down. But I will trick those dirty skunks And write a brand new poem called 'Trunks'.
I was born in a barrel of butcher knives Trouble I love and peace I despise Wild horses kicked me in my side Then a rattlesnake bit me and he walked off and died.\n-- Bo Diddley
I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door. And that knocker, he says, "Honey, Roll this rocker out some money, Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor."\n-- Mr. Miggle
I went home with a waitress, The way I always do. How I was I to know? She was with the Russians too. I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk. Send lawyers, guns, and money, Dad, get me out of this.\n-- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money"
I went over to my friend, he was eatin' a pickle. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He said "Nothin'." Try to sing this song with that kind of enthusiasm; As if you just squashed a cop.\n-- Arlo Guthrie, "Motorcycle Song"
I woke up a feelin' mean went down to play the slot machine the wheels turned round, and the letters read "Better head back to Tennessee Jed"\n-- Grateful Dead
I would like to know What I was fencing in And what I was fencing out.\n-- Robert Frost
I'd never cry if I did find\nA blue whale in my soup... Nor would I mind a porcupine\nInside a chicken coop. Yes life is fine when things combine,\nLike ham in beef chow mein... But lord, this time I think I mind,\nThey've put acid in my rain.\n--- Milo Bloom
I'd rather laugh with the sinners, Than cry with the saints, The sinners are much more fun!\n-- Billy Joel, "Only The Good Die Young"
I'll learn to play the Saxophone, I play just what I feel. Drink Scotch whisky all night long, And die behind the wheel. They got a name for the winners in the world, I want a name when I lose. They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, Call me Deacon Blues.\n-- Becker and Fagan, "Deacon Blues"
I'll see you... on the dark side of the moon...\n-- Pink Floyd
I'm free -- and freedom tastes of reality.\n-- The Who
I'm just as sad as sad can be!\nI've missed your special date. Please say that you're not mad at me\nMy tax return is late.\n-- Modern Lines for Modern Greeting Cards
i'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.\n-- e. e. cummings
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.\n-- Gilbert & Sullivan, "Pirates of Penzance"
I've been on this lonely road so long, Does anybody know where it goes, I remember last time the signs pointed home, A month ago.\n-- Carpenters, "Road Ode"
I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask for more, She's deaf and dumb and over-sexed, And owns a liquor store.
I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, A bit or byte to read or write, I/O, I/O, I/O...
IBM had a PL/I,\nIts syntax worse than JOSS; And everywhere this language went,\nIt was a total loss.
If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, ... it expects what never was and never will be.\n-- Thomas Jefferson
If all be true that I do think, There be five reasons why one should drink; Good friends, good wine, or being dry, Or lest we should be by-and-by, Or any other reason why.
If all the seas were ink, And all the reeds were pens, And all the skies were parchment, And all the men could write, These would not suffice To write down all the red tape Of this Government.
If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much; But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.\n-- Dorothy Parker
If I promised you the moon and the stars, would you believe it?\n-- Alan Parsons Project
If I traveled to the end of the rainbow As Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me The pot's at the other end.\n-- Bert Whitney
If she had not been cupric in her ions, Her shape ovoidal, Their romance might have flourished. But he built tetrahedral in his shape, His ions ferric, Love could not help but die, Uncatylised, inert, and undernourished.
If you had just a minute to breathe, And they granted you one final wish, Would you ask for something Like another chance?\n-- Traffic, "The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys"
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.\nOr some joker who is slicker,\nWill trick you of your liquor, If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
If you're worried by earthquakes and nuclear war, As well as by traffic and crime, Consider how worry-free gophers are, Though living on burrowed time.\n-- Richard Armour, WSJ, 11/7/83
In /users3 did Kubla Kahn A stately pleasure dome decree, Where /bin, the sacred river ran Through Test Suites measureless to Man Down to a sunless C.
In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. Find the fun and snap!  The job's a game. And every task you undertake, becomes a piece of cake,\na lark, a spree; it's very clear to see.\n-- Mary Poppins
In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our asymptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face.\n-- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
In the dimestores and bus stations People talk of situations Read books repeat quotations Draw conclusions on the wall.\n-- Bob Dylan
In the land of the dark the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.\n-- Egyptian Book of the Dead
In this vale Of toil and sin Your head grows bald But not your chin.\n-- Burma Shave
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree But only if the NFL to a franchise would agree.
Into love and out again,\nThus I went and thus I go. Spare your voice, and hold your pen:\nWell and bitterly I know All the songs were ever sung,\nAll the words were ever said; Could it be, when I was young,\nSomeone dropped me on my head?\n-- Dorothy Parker, "Theory"
It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind starts and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.\n-- Proverbs 19:2
It used to be the fun was in The capture and kill. In another place and time I did it all for thrills.\n-- Lust to Love
It was one time too many One word too few It was all too much for me and you There was one way to go Nothing more we could do One time too many One word too few\n-- Meredith Tanner
It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money.\n-- Tom T. Hall, "The Secret of Life"
It's gonna be alright, It's almost midnight, And I've got two more bottles of wine.
It's just a jump to the left\nAnd then a step to the right. Put your hands on your hips\nAnd pull your knees in tight. It's the pelvic thrust\nThat really gets you insa-a-a-a-ane\nLET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!\n-- Rocky Horror Picture Show
It's just apartment house rules, So all you 'partment house fools Remember:  one man's ceiling is another man's floor. One man's ceiling is another man's floor.\n-- Paul Simon, "One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor"
It's Like This Even the samurai have teddy bears, and even the teddy bears get drunk.
It's not against any religion to want to dispose of a pigeon.\n-- Tom Lehrer, "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"
John			Dame May		Oscar Was Gay			Was Whitty		Was Wilde But Gerard Hopkins	But John Greenleaf	But Thornton Was Manley		Was Whittier		Was Wilder\n-- Willard Espy
Just machines to make big decisions, Programmed by men for compassion and vision, We'll be clean when their work is done, We'll be eternally free, yes, eternally young, What a beautiful world this will be, What a glorious time to be free.\n-- Donald Fagon, "What A Beautiful World"
K:	Cobalt's metal, hard and shining;\nCobol's wordy and confining;\nKOBOLDS topple when you strike them;\nDon't feel bad, it's hard to like them.\n-- The Roguelet's ABC
Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp! cries she With silent lips.  Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me...\n-- Emma Lazarus, "The New Colossus"
Lady, lady, should you meet One whose ways are all discreet, One who murmurs that his wife Is the lodestar of his life, One who keeps assuring you That he never was untrue, Never loved another one... Lady, lady, better run!\n-- Dorothy Parker, "Social Note"
Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is on fire, Your children will burn! So jump ye and sing, for The very first time The four lines above Have been put into rhyme.\n-- Walt Kelly
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Gee how I wish he'd go away!
Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed the Romans, And now it's killing me.
Let us go then you and I while the night is laid out against the sky like a smear of mustard on an old pork pie. "Nice poem Tom.  I have ideas for changes though, why not come over?"\n-- Ezra
Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were real; Perhaps they are.\n-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is like a tin of sardines. We're, all of us, looking for the key.\n-- Beyond the Fringe
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.\n-- John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy"
Lighten up, while you still can, Don't even try to understand, Just find a place to make your stand, And take it easy.\n-- The Eagles, "Take It Easy"
"Lines that are parallel meet at Infinity!" Euclid repeatedly, heatedly, urged. Until he died, and so reached that vicinity: in it he found that the damned things diverged.\n-- Piet Hein
Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine, Lisp Machine is Fun. Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine, Fun for everyone.
Logicians have but ill defined As rational the human kind. Logic, they say, belongs to man, But let them prove it if they can.\n-- Oliver Goldsmith
Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love 'til you give it away.\n-- Oscar Hammerstein II
Mummy dust to make me old; To shroud my clothes, the black of night; To age my voice, an old hag's cackle; To whiten my hair, a scream of fright; A blast of wind to fan my hate; A thunderbolt to mix it well -- Now begin thy magic spell!\n-- Walter Disney, "Snow White"
My analyst told me that I was right out of my head,\nBut I said, "Dear Doctor, I think that it is you instead. Because I have got a thing that is unique and new,\nTo prove it I'll have the last laugh on you. 'Cause instead of one head -- I've got two. And you know two heads are better than one.
My Bonnie looked into a gas tank, The height of its contents to see! She lit a small match to assist her, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay In better spirits night and day.
My pen is at the bottom of a page, Which, being finished, here the story ends; 'Tis to be wished it had been sooner done, But stories somehow lengthen when begun.\n-- Byron
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore I do not like me anymore, I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse, I ponder on the narrow house I shudder at the thought of men I'm due to fall in love again.\n-- Dorothy Parker, "Enough Rope"
Neuroses are red,\nMelancholia's blue. I'm schizophrenic,\nWhat are you?
New York's got the ways and means; Just won't let you be.\n-- The Grateful Dead
New York-- to that tall skyline I come Flyin' in from London to your door New York-- lookin' down on Central Park Where they say you should not wander after dark. New York.\n-- Simon and Garfunkle
Next, upon a stool, we've a sight to make you drool. Seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool.\n-- ELP, "Karn Evil 9" (1st Impression, Part 2)
Nine megs for the secretaries fair, Seven megs for the hackers scarce, Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs, Three megs for system source; One disk to rule them all, One disk to bind them, One disk to hold the files And in the darkness grind 'em.
Nine-track tapes and seven-track tapes And tapes without any tracks; Stretchy tapes and snarley tapes And tapes mixed up on the racks --\nTake hold of the tape\nAnd pull off the strip,\nAnd then you'll be sure\nYour tape drive will skip.\n-- Uncle Colonel's Cursory Rhymes
No rock so hard but that a little wave May beat admission in a thousand years.\n-- Tennyson
No sooner had Edger Allen Poe Finished his old Raven, then he started his Old Crow.
No, his mind is not for rent To any god or government. Always hopeful, yet discontent, He knows changes aren't permanent - But change is.
Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure.\n-- George Gordon, Lord Byron, "Don Juan"
Now I lay me back to sleep. The speaker's dull; the subject's deep. If he should stop before I wake, Give me a nudge for goodness' sake.\n-- Anonymous
