A gambler's biggest thrill is winning a bet. His next biggest thrill is losing a bet.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.\n-- Yogi Berra
A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as "you could blow it in" may be blown in.  This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to make a travesty of the game.\n-- Donald A. Metz
"Ain't that something what happened today.  One of us got traded to Kansas City."\n-- Casey Stengel, informing outfielder Bob Cerv he'd been traded.
All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others.\n-- Alan Truscott
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.\n-- Dave Barry
[Babe] Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching.\n-- Tris Speaker, 1921
Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.\n-- Yogi Berra in his rookie season.
Check me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers... they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key!
Don't let go of what you've got hold of, until you have hold of something else.\n-- First Rule of Wing Walking
Easiest Color to Solve on a Rubik's Cube:	Black. Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each of side of the cube will now be the original color of the plastic underneath\n-- black.  According to the instructions, this means the puzzle is solved. -- Steve Rubenstein
Ever feel like life was a game and you had the wrong instruction book?
Ever feel like you're the head pin on life's bowling alley, and everyone's rolling strikes?
Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.\n-- Snoopy
Flying is the second greatest feeling you can have.  The greatest feeling? Landing...  Landing is the greatest feeling you can have.
Football builds self-discipline.  What else would induce a spectator to sit out in the open in subfreezing weather?
Football combines the two worst features of American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.\n-- George F. Will, "Men At Work:  The Craft of Baseball"
Football is a game designed to keep coalminers off the streets.\n-- Jimmy Breslin
Fortune finishes the great quotations, #15\n"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses."\nAnd while you're at it, throw in a couple of those Dallas\nCowboy cheerleaders.
FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#14\nThe Baby Ruth candy bar was not named after George Herman "The Babe" Ruth, but after the oldest daughter of President Grover Cleveland.
From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.\n-- Ad for the new VW Corrado
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.\n-- Calvin Keegan
Give me a fish and I will eat today. Teach me to fish and I will eat forever.
Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.\n-- W. C. Fields
How can you think and hit at the same time?\n-- Yogi Berra
I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.\n-- Chief Justice Earl Warren
I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed.\n-- Frank Deford, sports writer
I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.\n-- Florence Henderson
I guess I've been so wrapped up in playing the game that I never took time enough to figure out where the goal line was -- what it meant to win -- or even how you won.\n-- Cash McCall
I guess the Little League is even littler than we thought.\n-- D. Cavett
I just know I'm a better manager when I have Joe DiMaggio in center field.\n-- Casey Stengel
I like your game but we have to change the rules.
I never met a man I didn't want to fight.\n-- Lyle Alzado, professional football lineman
I went to the race track once and bet on a horse that was so good that it took seven others to beat him!
I would be batting the big feller if they wasn't ready with the other one, but a left-hander would be the thing if they wouldn't have knowed it already because there is more things involved than could come up on the road, even after we've been home a long while.\n-- Casey Stengel
I would rather say that a desire to drive fast sports cars is what sets man apart from the animals.
I'd rather push my Harley than ride a rice burner.
I'm a lucky guy, and I'm happy to be with the Yankees.  And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.\n-- Yogi Berra at a dinner in his honor
I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.\n-- Golfer Bobby Jones on being told that it was 105 degrees in the shade.
I've only got 12 cards.
If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop.  The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf.\n-- Donald A. Metz
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.\n-- Doug Larson
If swimming is so good for your figure, how come whales look the way they do?
If you do your best the rest of the way, that takes care of everything. When we get to October 2, we'll add up the wins, and then we'll either all go into the playoffs, or we'll all go home and play golf.\nBoth those things sound pretty good to me.\n-- Sparky Anderson
If you don't know what game you're playing, don't ask what the score is.
If you sit down at a poker game and don't see a sucker, get up.  You're the sucker.
If you want to see card tricks, you have to expect to take cards.\n-- Harry Blackstone
If you're carrying a torch, put it down.  The Olympics are over.
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries.  Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression.  In America we call it golf.
In Brooklyn, we had such great pennant races, it made the World Series just something that came later.\n-- Walter O'Malley, Dodgers owner
It gets late early out there.\n-- Yogi Berra
It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another -- but which one?  Differences are crucial.\n-- Lazarus Long
It's like deja vu all over again.\n-- Yogi Berra
It's not whether you win or lose but how you played the game.\n-- Grantland Rice
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you look playing the game.
Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo.
Life is a gamble at terrible odds, if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.\n-- Tom Stoppard, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"
Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed.
Life is a game.  In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else.  If what already is, is more important than what isn't, the game is over.  So, life is a game in which what isn't, is more important than what is.  Let the good times roll.\n-- Werner Erhard
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game.  You want us to pay income taxes, too?\n-- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox
Love means nothing to a tennis player.
MARTA SAYS THE INTERESTING thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta, grow up.\n-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
MARTA WAS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME with me when she said, "You know most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh.  Girls are funny.\n-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills. Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max."\n[So is that punchline.]
Most people's favorite way to end a game is by winning.
My way of joking is to tell the truth.  That's the funniest joke in the world.\n-- Muhammad Ali
Nadia Comaneci, simple perfection.\n-- '76 Olympics
Never play pool with anyone named "Fats".
NEWS FLASH!! Today the East German pole-vault champion became the West German pole-vault champion.
Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.
Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: you can win or you can lose or it can rain.\n-- Casey Stengel
On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment -- halftime.
One thought driven home is better than three left on base.
One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
P-K4
Repel them.  Repel them.  Induce them to relinquish the spheroid.\n-- Indiana University football cheer
Reporter:   "What would you do if you found a million dollars?" Yogi Berra: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back."
Rick:	"How can you close me up?  On what grounds?" Renault: "I'm shocked!  Shocked!  To find that gambling is going on here." Croupier (handing money to Renault): "Your winnings, sir." Renault:"Oh.  Thank you very much."\n-- Casablanca
Rube Walker: "Hey, Yogi, what time is it?" Yogi Berra:  "You mean now?"
Ruth made a great mistake when he gave up pitching.  Working once a week, he might have lasted a long time and become a great star.\n-- Tris Speaker, commenting on Babe Ruth's plan to change from being a pitcher to an outfielder. Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"
Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.\n-- Heard on Noahs' ark
Show me a good loser in professional sports and I'll show you an idiot. Show me a good sportsman and I'll show you a player I'm looking to trade.\n-- Leo Durocher
So I'm ugly.  So what?  I never saw anyone hit with his face.\n-- Yogi Berra
Support Bingo, keep Grandma off the streets.
Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.
That's the true harbinger of spring, not crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano, but the sound of a bat on a ball.\n-- Bill Veeck
The most serious doubt that has been thrown on the authenticity of the biblical miracles is the fact that most of the witnesses in regard to them were fishermen.\n-- Arthur Binstead
THE OLD POOL SHOOTER had won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor. "Sorry," he said with a smile.\n-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
The one sure way to make a lazy man look respectable is to put a fishing rod in his hand.
The real problem with hunting elephants is carrying the decoys.
The surest way to remain a winner is to win once, and then not play any more.
The University of California Bears announced the signing of Reggie Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall.  Philbin is said to make up for no talent by cheating well.  Says Philbin of his decision to attend Cal, "I'm in it for the free ride."
The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.\n-- Heywood Broun
The whole of life is futile unless you consider it as a sporting proposition.
They also surf who only stand on waves.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target.
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.\n-- Finlay Peter Dunne, "Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"
Two brothers, Mort and Bill, like to sail.  While Bill has a great deal of experience, he certainly isn't the rigger Mort is.
When in doubt, lead trump.
Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.
Winning isn't everything.  It's the only thing.\n-- Vince Lombardi
Woman:      "Is Yoo-Hoo hyphenated?" Yogi Berra: "No, ma'am, its not even carbonated."
