!07/11 PDP a ni deppart m'I  !pleH
1: No code table for op: ++post
... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you have turned into a pile of dust.
A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.\n-- Joseph Campbell
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.\n-- Mitch Ratcliffe
A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.
A CONS is an object which cares.\n-- Bernie Greenberg.
A debugged program is one for which you have not yet found the conditions that make it fail.\n-- Jerry Ogdin
A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.\n-- D. Gries
A Fortran compiler is the hobgoblin of little minis.
A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.
A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is not worth knowing.
A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do.\n-- Dennis M. Ritchie
A large number of installed systems work by fiat.  That is, they work by being declared to work.\n-- Anatol Holt
A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.\n-- Alan Perlis
A list is only as strong as its weakest link.\n-- Don Knuth
A modem is a baudy house.
A nasty looking dwarf throws a knife at you.
A novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning the power off and on.  Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly, "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."  Knight turned the machine off and on.  The machine worked.
A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer.\n-- Donald Knuth
A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.
A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer scientists.  Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added concentration needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three dimensional objects.
A rolling disk gathers no MOS.
A successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by its author.\n-- S. C. Johnson
A well-used door needs no oil on its hinges. A swift-flowing steam does not grow stagnant. Neither sound nor thoughts can travel through a vacuum. Software rots if not used. These are great mysteries.\n-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt ax.  It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.\n-- Edsger Dijkstra
Adding features does not necessarily increase functionality -- it just makes the manuals thicker.
Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.\n-- Dijkstra
Algol-60 surely must be regarded as the most important programming language yet developed.\n-- T. Cheatham
All constants are variables.
All parts should go together without forcing.  You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you.  Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason.  By all means, do not use a hammer.\n-- IBM maintenance manual, 1925
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
"... all the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned products, if they are built at all, are dogs!"\n-- David E. Lundstrom, "A Few Good Men From Univac", MIT Press, 1987
All the simple programs have been written.
All your files have been destroyed (sorry).  Paul.
Almost anything derogatory you could say about today's software design would be accurate.\n-- K.E. Iverson
An Ada exception is when a routine gets in trouble and says 'Beam me up, Scotty'.
An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.
An algorithm must be seen to be believed.\n-- D.E. Knuth
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
An engineer is someone who does list processing in FORTRAN.
And it should be the law: If you use the word `paradigm' without knowing what the dictionary says it means, you go to jail.  No exceptions.\n-- David Jones
And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
Another megabytes the dust.
Any given program will expand to fill available memory.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any program which runs right is obsolete.
Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used.
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.\n-- Rich Kulawiec
Anyone who has attended a USENIX conference in a fancy hotel can tell you that a sentence like "You're one of those computer people, aren't you?" is roughly equivalent to "Look, another amazingly mobile form of slime mold!" in the mouth of a hotel cocktail waitress.\n-- Elizabeth Zwicky
APL hackers do it in the quad.
APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection.  It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.\n-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
APL is a natural extension of assembler language programming; ...and is best for educational purposes.\n-- A. Perlis
APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs in APL, but I can't read any of them.\n-- Roy Keir
Are we running light with overbyte?
Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to measure progress.  Some cathedrals took a century to complete.  Can you imagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?\n-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.\n-- Weisert
As in certain cults it is possible to kill a process if you know its true name.\n-- Ken Thompson and Dennis M. Ritchie
As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve The Problem, saving the documentation for later.
As of next Thursday, UNIX will be flushed in favor of TOPS-10. Please update your programs.
As of next Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please update your programs.
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs; a process that traditionally requires some debugging.\n-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service conversion to a new computer system.
As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there is always a future in Computer Maintenance.\n-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."
ASCII a stupid question, you get an EBCDIC answer.
ASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.
Assembly language experience is [important] for the maturity and understanding of how computers work that it provides.\n-- D. Gries
Asynchronous inputs are at the root of our race problems.\n-- D. Winker and F. Prosser
At first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on the creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is quite untrue in practice.  Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather than blinkers it.\n-- G.L. Glegg, "The Design of Design"
At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.\n-- The Washington Post Magazine, 9 June, 1985
At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Avoid strange women and temporary variables.
Basic is a high level languish.  APL is a high level anguish.
BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of `Scientific Creationism'.
BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.\n-- Seymour Papert
Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.
Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.\n-- Donald Knuth
Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.\n-- Leonard Brandwein
Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of interest is easy.
Beware the new TTY code!
Blinding speed can compensate for a lot of deficiencies.\n-- David Nichols
BLISS is ignorance.
Both models are identical in performance, functional operation, and interface circuit details.  The two models, however, are not compatible on the same communications line connection.\n-- Bell System Technical Reference
Brain fried -- Core dumped
Breadth-first search is the bulldozer of science.\n-- Randy Goebel
Bringing computers into the home won't change either one, but may revitalize the corner saloon.
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
Building translators is good clean fun.\n-- T. Cheatham
Bus error -- driver executed.
Bus error -- please leave by the rear door.
But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses.\n-- Bruce Leverett, "Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers"
"But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable computers?"
By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other designers in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.\n-- P.J. Plauger, "Computer Language", 1988, April Fool's column.
BYTE editors are people who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then carefully print the chaff.
Byte your tongue.
C Code. C Code Run. Run, Code, RUN!\nPLEASE!!!!
C for yourself.
C makes it easy for you to shoot yourself in the foot.  C++ makes that harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.\n-- Bjarne Stroustrup
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas l'Informatique.\n-- Bosquet [on seeing the IBM 4341]
C++ is the best example of second-system effect since OS/360.
Can't open /usr/share/games/fortunes/fortunes.  Lid stuck on cookie jar.
Can't open /usr/share/games/fortunes/fortunes.dat.
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
CCI Power 6/40: one board, a megabyte of cache, and an attitude...
Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543.
Civilization, as we know it, will end sometime this evening. See SYSNOTE tomorrow for more information.
COBOL is for morons.\n-- E.W. Dijkstra
Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.
Coding is easy;  All you do is sit staring at a terminal until the drops of blood form on your forehead.
COMPASS [for the CDC-6000 series] is the sort of assembler one expects from a corporation whose president codes in octal.\n-- J.N. Gray
... computer hardware progress is so fast.  No other technology since civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price gain in 30 years.\n-- Fred Brooks
Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
Computer programs expand so as to fill the core available.
Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.
Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance\n-- Jim Horning
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.\n-- Gilb
Computers are useless.  They can only give you answers.\n-- Pablo Picasso
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers don't actually think.\nYou just think they think.\n(We think.)
Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost.
Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.\n-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
Congratulations!  You are the one-millionth user to log into our system. If there's anything special we can do for you, anything at all, don't hesitate to ask!
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal -- if you are all thumbs.\n-- Glaser and Way
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.\n-- Tom Lehrer
[Crash programs] fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.\n-- Wernher von Braun
Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!!
%DCL-MEM-BAD, bad memory VMS-F-PDGERS, pudding between the ears
Debug is human, de-fix divine.
DEC diagnostics would run on a dead whale.\n-- Mel Ferentz
#define BITCOUNT(x)	(((BX_(x)+(BX_(x)>>4)) & 0x0F0F0F0F) % 255) #define  BX_(x)		((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777)			\\n- (((x)>>2)&0x33333333)			\ - (((x)>>3)&0x11111111)) -- really weird C code to count the number of bits in a word
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Did you know that for the price of a 280-Z you can buy two Z-80's?\n-- P.J. Plauger
Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.\n-- Don Vonada
Disc space -- the final frontier!
DISCLAIMER|Use of this advanced computing technology does not imply an endorsement of Western industrial civilization.
Disclaimer: "These opinions are my own, though for a small fee they be yours too."\n-- Dave Haynie
Disk crisis, please clean up!
Disks travel in packs.
Disraeli was pretty close: actually, there are Lies, Damn lies, Statistics, Benchmarks, and Delivery dates.
Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to anger.
Do not simplify the design of a program if a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.
Do not use the blue keys on this terminal.
Do you guys know what you're doing, or are you just hacking?
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.\n-- Dick Brandon
Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.
Does a good farmer neglect a crop he has planted? Does a good teacher overlook even the most humble student? Does a good father allow a single child to starve? Does a good programmer refuse to maintain his code?\n-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.
Don't get suckered in by the comments -- they can be terribly misleading. Debug only code.\n-- Dave Storer
Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.\n-- P. Skelly
DOS Air|All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, et cetera.
Due to lack of disk space, this fortune database has been discontinued.
E Pluribus Unix
Each new user of a new system uncovers a new class of bugs.\n-- Kernighan
/earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can.
Earth is a beta site.
/earth: file system full.
Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary.  No such faith comforts the software engineer.\n-- Fred Brooks
Equal bytes for women.
Error in operator: add beer
Established technology tends to persist in the face of new technology.\n-- G. Blaauw, one of the designers of System 360
<<<<< EVACUATION ROUTE <<<<<
Even bytes get lonely for a little bit.
Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper ... everyone was eating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is bend a disk.\n-- A member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity, commenting on the benefits of using computers in support of their movement.
Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!
Evolution is a million line computer program falling into place by accident.
Excessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.
FACILITY REJECTED 100044200000;
Feeling amorous, she looked under the sheets and cried, "Oh, no, it's Microsoft!"
Fly Windows NT|All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
"For that matter, compare your pocket computer with the massive jobs of a thousand years ago.  Why not, then, the last step of doing away with computers altogether?"\n-- Jehan Shuman
FORTH IF HONK THEN
FORTRAN is a good example of a language which is easier to parse using ad hoc techniques.\n-- D. Gries [What's good about it?  Ed.]
FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed -- it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer.\n-- A.J. Perlis
FORTRAN is the language of Powerful Computers.\n-- Steven Feiner
FORTRAN rots the brain.\n-- John McQuillin
FORTRAN, "the infantile disorder", by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.\n-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
[FORTRAN] will persist for some time -- probably for at least the next decade.\n-- T. Cheatham
fortune: cannot execute.  Out of cookies.
fortune: cpu time/usefulness ratio too high -- core dumped.
fortune: No such file or directory
fortune: not found
Frankly, Scarlett, I don't have a fix.\n-- Rhett Buggler
From the Pro 350 Pocket Service Guide, p. 49, Step 5 of the instructions on removing an I/O board from the card cage, comes a new experience in sound: 5.  Turn the handle to the right 90 degrees.  The pin-spreading\nsound is normal for this type of connector.
Function reject.
Garbage In -- Gospel Out.
GIVE:	Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Given its constituency, the only thing I expect to be "open" about [the Open Software Foundation] is its mouth.\n-- John Gilmore
Giving up on assembly language was the apple in our Garden of Eden:  Languages whose use squanders machine cycles are sinful.  The LISP machine now permits LISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf.\n-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
