"One Architecture, One OS" also translates as "One Egg, One Basket".
"One basic notion underlying Usenet is that it is a cooperative." Having been on USENET for going on ten years, I disagree with this. The basic notion underlying USENET is the flame.\n-- Chuq Von Rospach
One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.\n-- Robert Firth
One of the most overlooked advantages to computers is...  If they do foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little.\n-- Joe Martin
One person's error is another person's data.
One picture is worth 128K words.
Only great masters of style can succeed in being obtuse.\n-- Oscar Wilde Most UNIX programmers are great masters of style. -- The Unnamed Usenetter
"Our attitude with TCP/IP is, `Hey, we'll do it, but don't make a big system, because we can't fix it if it breaks -- nobody can.'" "TCP/IP is OK if you've got a little informal club, and it doesn't make any difference if it takes a while to fix it."\n-- Ken Olson, in Digital News, 1988
Our informal mission is to improve the love life of operators worldwide.\n-- Peter Behrendt, president of Exabyte
Our OS who art in CPU, UNIX be thy name.\nThy programs run, thy syscalls done,\nIn kernel as it is in user!
Over the shoulder supervision is more a need of the manager than the programming task.
Overflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.
Overload -- core meltdown sequence initiated.
panic: can't find /
panic: kernel segmentation violation. core dumped		(only kidding)
panic: kernel trap (ignored)
Pascal is a language for children wanting to be naughty.\n-- Dr. Kasi Ananthanarayanan
Pascal is not a high-level language.\n-- Steven Feiner
"Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat."\n-- M. Devine and P. Larson, Computer Science 340
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
Pause for storage relocation.
Per buck you get more computing action with the small computer.\n-- R.W. Hamming
PL/I -- "the fatal disease" -- belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.\n-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
Play Rogue, visit exotic locations, meet strange creatures and kill them.
Please go away.
PLUG IT IN!!!
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.\n-- D.E. Knuth
Prof:    So the American government went to IBM to come up with a data\nencryption standard and they came up with ... Student: EBCDIC!"
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
Programmers do it bit by bit.
Programmers used to batch environments may find it hard to live without giant listings; we would find it hard to use them.\n-- D.M. Ritchie
Programming is an unnatural act.
PURGE COMPLETE.
Put no trust in cryptic comments.
RADIO SHACK LEVEL II BASIC READY >_
RAM wasn't built in a day.
Reactor error - core dumped!
Real computer scientists admire ADA for its overwhelming aesthetic value but they find it difficult to actually program in it, as it is much too large to implement.  Most computer scientists don't notice this because they are still arguing over what else to add to ADA.
Real computer scientists despise the idea of actual hardware.  Hardware has limitations, software doesn't.  It's a real shame that Turing machines are so poor at I/O.
Real computer scientists don't comment their code.  The identifiers are so long they can't afford the disk space.
Real computer scientists don't program in assembler.  They don't write in anything less portable than a number two pencil.
Real computer scientists don't write code.  They occasionally tinker with `programming systems', but those are so high level that they hardly count (and rarely count accurately; precision is for applications).
Real computer scientists like having a computer on their desk, else how could they read their mail?
Real computer scientists only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware.  Nobody trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
Real programmers disdain structured programming.  Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet- trained.  They wear neckties and carefully line up pencils on otherwise clear desks.
Real programmers don't bring brown-bag lunches.  If the vending machine doesn't sell it, they don't eat it.  Vending machines don't sell quiche.
Real programmers don't comment their code.  It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Real programmers don't draw flowcharts.  Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate's form of documentation.  Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much good it did them.
Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.
Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
Real programmers don't write in BASIC.  Actually, no programmers write in BASIC after reaching puberty.
Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.  FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.
Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
Real programs don't eat cache.
Real Programs don't use shared text.  Otherwise, how can they use functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package.
Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is described in the formal spec.  Working late would feel like using an undocumented external procedure.
Real Users are afraid they'll break the machine -- but they're never afraid to break your face.
Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts down the system for days.
Real Users hate Real Programmers.
Real Users know your home telephone number.
Real Users never know what they want, but they always know when your program doesn't deliver it.
Real Users never use the Help key.
Recursion is the root of computation since it trades description for time.
Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?
Remember, God could only create the world in 6 days because he didn't have an established user base.
Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.\n-- Mt.
Remember: use logout to logout.
Row, row, row your bits, gently down the stream...
Save energy:  Drive a smaller shell.
Save gas, don't use the shell.
Save yourself!  Reboot in 5 seconds!
Say "twenty-three-skiddoo" to logout.
SCCS, the source motel!  Programs check in and never check out!\n-- Ken Thompson
Science is to computer science as hydrodynamics is to plumbing.
Scotty:	Captain, we din' can reference it! Kirk:	Analysis, Mr. Spock? Spock:	Captain, it doesn't appear in the symbol table. Kirk:	Then it's of external origin? Spock:	Affirmative. Kirk:	Mr. Sulu, go to pass two. Sulu:	Aye aye, sir, going to pass two.
Send some filthy mail.
Sendmail may be safely run set-user-id to root.\n-- Eric Allman, "Sendmail Installation Guide"
She sells cshs by the cshore.
Simulations are like miniskirts, they show a lot and hide the essentials.\n-- Hubert Kirrman
Slowly and surely the unix crept up on the Nintendo user ...
Software production is assumed to be a line function, but it is run like a staff function.\n-- Paul Licker
Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more "user-friendly".  ...  Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old brochures, and stamp the words, "user-friendly" on the cover.\n-- Bill Gates, Microsoft, Inc. [Pot. Kettle. Black.]
Some of my readers ask me what a "Serial Port" is. The answer is: I don't know. Is it some kind of wine you have with breakfast?
Some people claim that the UNIX learning curve is steep, but at least you only have to climb it once.
Some programming languages manage to absorb change, but withstand progress.\n-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
Somebody's terminal is dropping bits.  I found a pile of them over in the corner.
Staff meeting in the conference room in %d minutes.
Staff meeting in the conference room in 3 minutes.
Stinginess with privileges is kindness in disguise.\n-- Guide to VAX/VMS Security, Sep. 1984
Such efforts are almost always slow, laborious, political, petty, boring, ponderous, thankless, and of the utmost criticality.\n-- Leonard Kleinrock, on standards efforts
Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.\n-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
System checkpoint complete.
System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crashing.
System going down at 5 this afternoon to install scheduler bug.
System going down in 5 minutes.
System restarting, wait...
Systems have sub-systems and sub-systems have sub-systems and so on ad infinitum -- which is why we're always starting over.\n-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
Systems programmers are the high priests of a low cult.\n-- R.S. Barton
Testing can show the presense of bugs, but not their absence.\n-- Dijkstra
TeX is potentially the most significant invention in typesetting in this century.  It introduces a standard language for computer typography, and in terms of importance could rank near the introduction of the Gutenberg press.\n-- Gordon Bell
"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even one which cannot be justified on any other grounds."\n-- J. Finnegan, USC.
That does not compute.
"That's right; the upper-case shift works fine on the screen, but they're not coming out on the damn printer...  Hold?  Sure, I'll hold."\n-- e.e. cummings last service call
That's the thing about people who think they hate computers.  What they really hate is lousy programmers.\n-- Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty"
The "cutting edge" is getting rather dull.\n-- Andy Purshottam
The 11 is for people with the pride of a 10 and the pocketbook of an 8.\n-- R.B. Greenberg [referring to PDPs?]
The absence of labels [in ECL] is probably a good thing.\n-- T. Cheatham
The algorithm for finding the longest path in a graph is NP-complete. For you systems people, that means it's *real slow*.\n-- Bart Miller
"The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty.  You might want to mug someone with it."\n-- M. Devine, Computer Science 340
The Analytical Engine weaves Algebraical patterns just as the Jacquard loom weaves flowers and leaves.\n-- Ada Augusta, Countess of Lovelace, the first programmer
"The bad reputation UNIX has gotten is totally undeserved, laid on by people who don't understand, who have not gotten in there and tried anything."\n-- Jim Joyce, owner of Jim Joyce's UNIX Bookstore
The beer-cooled computer does not harm the ozone layer.\n-- John M. Ford, a.k.a. Dr. Mike [If I can read my notes from the Ask Dr. Mike session at Baycon, I believe he added that the beer-cooled computer uses "Forget Only Memory".  Ed.]
The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland"; but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
The best way to accelerate a Macintoy is at 9.8 meters per second per second.
The bogosity meter just pegged.
The bugs you have to avoid are the ones that give the user not only the inclination to get on a plane, but also the time.\n-- Kay Bostic
"The C Programming Language -- A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language."
The clothes have no emperor.\n-- C.A.R. Hoare, commenting on ADA.
The computer industry is journalists in their 20's standing in awe of entrepreneurs in their 30's who are hiring salesmen in their 40's and 50's and paying them in the 60's and 70's to bring their marketing into the 80's.\n-- Marty Winston
The computer is to the information industry roughly what the central power station is to the electrical industry.\n-- Peter Drucker
"The Computer made me do it."
The computing field is always in need of new cliches.\n-- Alan Perlis
The connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems and solutions we can imagine is very close.  For this reason restricting language features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best dangerous.\n-- Bjarne Stroustrup
The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of us who are fortunate enough never to have been one -- like watching Charlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe.
The debate rages on: Is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary?
The difference between art and science is that science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer.  Art is everything else.\n-- Donald Knuth, "Discover"
The disks are getting full; purge a file today.
"The eleventh commandment was `Thou Shalt Compute' or `Thou Shalt Not Compute' -- I forget which."\n-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
The first time, it's a KLUDGE! The second, a trick. Later, it's a well-established technique!\n-- Mike Broido, Intermetrics
The first version always gets thrown away.
The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.\n-- Frederick Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month"
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity\n-- the rest is overhead for the operating system.
The IBM 2250 is impressive ... if you compare it with a system selling for a tenth its price.\n-- D. Cohen
The IBM purchase of ROLM gives new meaning to the term "twisted pair".\n-- Howard Anderson, "Yankee Group"
The idea that an arbitrary naive human should be able to properly use a given tool without training or understanding is even more wrong for computing than it is for other tools (e.g. automobiles, airplanes, guns, power saws).\n-- Doug Gwyn
The last time somebody said, "I find I can write much better with a word processor.", I replied, "They used to say the same thing about drugs."\n-- Roy Blount, Jr.
The less time planning, the more time programming.
THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #12: LITHP This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of an "S" in its character set; users must substitute "TH".  LITHP is said to be useful in protheththing lithtth.
The Macintosh is Xerox technology at its best.
The master programmer moves from program to program without fear.  No change in management can harm him.  He will not be fired, even if the project is canceled. Why is this?  He is filled with the Tao.\n-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
The meat is rotten, but the booze is holding out. Computer translation of "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation.\n-- Lew Mammel, Jr.
The more data I punch in this card, the lighter it becomes, and the lower the mailing cost.\n-- S. Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
The most important early product on the way to developing a good product is an imperfect version.
The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.
The net is like a vast sea of lutefisk with tiny dinosaur brains embedded in it here and there. Any given spoonful will likely have an IQ of 1, but occasional spoonfuls may have an IQ more than six times that!\n-- James 'Kibo' Parry
The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory, in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system.\nBut let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay:\nfor whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.\n-- Matthew 5:37
The next person to mention spaghetti stacks to me is going to have his head knocked off.\n-- Bill Conrad
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.\n-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
The nicest thing about the Alto is that it doesn't run faster at night.
The notion of a "record" is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card.\n-- Dennis M. Ritchie
The number of arguments is unimportant unless some of them are correct.\n-- Ralph Hartley
The number of computer scientists in a room is inversely proportional to the number of bugs in their code.
The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected.\n-- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June 1972
The only difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman is that the car salesman knows he's lying.
The only thing cheaper than hardware is talk.
The only thing worse than X Windows: (X Windows) - X
The party adjourned to a hot tub, yes.  Fully clothed, I might add.\n-- IBM employee, testifying in California State Supreme Court
The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato chip market.  Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantyhose"\n-- James Finke, Commodore Int'l Ltd., 1982
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.\nThe problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.\nThe problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
The problems of business administration in general, and database management in particular are much to difficult for people that think in IBMese, compounded with sloppy english.\n-- Edsger Dijkstra
The program isn't debugged until the last user is dead.
The proof that IBM didn't invent the car is that it has a steering wheel and an accelerator instead of spurs and ropes, to be compatible with a horse.\n-- Jac Goudsmit
The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.\n-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.
The relative importance of files depends on their cost in terms of the human effort needed to regenerate them.\n-- T.A. Dolotta
The road to hell is paved with NAND gates.\n-- J. Gooding
The sendmail configuration file is one of those files that looks like someone beat their head on the keyboard.  After working with it... I can see why!\n-- Harry Skelton
The so-called "desktop metaphor" of today's workstations is instead an "airplane-seat" metaphor.  Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers while seated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference -- one can see only a very few things at once.\n-- Fred Brooks
The steady state of disks is full.\n-- Ken Thompson
The system was down for backups from 5am to 10am last Saturday.
