"The medium is the massage."\n-- Crazy Nigel
"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."\n-- Vince Lombardi, football coach
"It might help if we ran the MBA's out of Washington."\n-- Admiral Grace Hopper
Refreshed by a brief blackout, I got to my feet and went next door.\n-- Martin Amis, _Money_
"Love may fail, but courtesy will previal."\n-- A Kurt Vonnegut fan
"You tried it just for once, found it alright for kicks,\nbut now you find out you have a habit that sticks,\nyou're an orgasm addict,\nyou're always at it,\nand you're an orgasm addict."\n-- The Buzzcocks
"There is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."\n-- Mark Twain
"You'll pay to know what you really think."\n-- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
"We live, in a very kooky time."\n-- Herb Blashtfalt
"Pull the wool over your own eyes!"\n-- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
"Okay," Bobby said, getting the hang of it, "then what's the matrix?  If she's a deck, and Danbala's a program, what's cyberspace?"\n"The world," Lucas said.\n-- William Gibson, _Count Zero_
"Our reruns are better than theirs."\n-- Nick at Nite
Life is a game.  Money is how we keep score.\n-- Ted Turner
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."\n-- The Wizard Of Oz
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."\n-- Karl, as he stepped behind the computer to reboot it, during a FAT
"It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us in trouble.  It's the things we know that ain't so."\n-- Artemus Ward aka Charles Farrar Brown
"Don't discount flying pigs before you have good air defense."\n-- jvh@clinet.FI
"In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble."\n-- Alan Perlis
"Pok pok pok, P'kok!"\n-- Superchicken
Live Free or Live in Massachusettes.
"You can't get very far in this world without your dossier being there first."\n-- Arthur Miller
"Flight Reservation systems decide whether or not you exist. If your information isn't in their database, then you simply don't get to go anywhere."\n-- Arthur Miller
"What people have been reduced to are mere 3-D representations of their own data."\n-- Arthur Miller
"The Avis WIZARD decides if you get to drive a car. Your head won't touch the pillow of a Sheraton unless their computer says it's okay."\n-- Arthur Miller
"Data is a lot like humans:  It is born.  Matures.  Gets married to other data, divorced. Gets old.  One thing that it doesn't do is die.  It has to be killed."\n-- Arthur Miller
"People should have access to the data which you have about them.  There should\nbe a process for them to challenge any inaccuracies."\n-- Arthur Miller
"Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind, and a step that travels unlimited roads."\n-- John Galt, in Ayn Rand's _Atlas Shrugged_
Don't panic.
The bug stops here.
The bug starts here.
"Why waste negative entropy on comments, when you could use the same entropy to create bugs instead?"\n-- Steve Elias
"The pathology is to want control, not that you ever get it, because of course you never do."\n-- Gregory Bateson
"Your butt is mine."\n-- Michael Jackson, Bad
Ship it.
"Once they go up, who cares where they come down?  That's not my department."\n-- Werner von Braun
"When the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it were a nail."\n-- Abraham Maslow
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."\n-- The New Mighty Mouse
"The lesser of two evils -- is evil."\n-- Seymour (Sy) Leon
"It's no sweat, Henry.  Russ made it back to Bugtown before he died.  So he'll regenerate in a couple of days.  It's just awful sloppy of him to get killed in the first place.  Humph!"\n-- Ron Post, Post Brothers Comics
"I honestly believe that the doctrine of hell was born in the glittering eyes of snakes that run in frightful coils watching for their prey.  I believe it was born with the yelping, howling, growling and snarling of wild beasts... I despise it, I defy it, and I hate it."\n-- Robert G. Ingersoll
"Is this foreplay?"\n"No, this is Nuke Strike.  Foreplay has lousy graphics.  Beat me again."\n-- Duckert, in "Bad Rubber," Albedo #0 (comics)
egrep patterns are full regular expressions; it uses a fast deterministic algorithm that sometimes needs exponential space.\n-- unix manuals
"A mind is a terrible thing to have leaking out your ears."\n-- The League of Sadistic Telepaths
"Life sucks, but it's better than the alternative."\n-- Peter da Silva
If this is a service economy, why is the service so bad?
"I shall expect a chemical cure for psychopathic behavior by 10 A.M. tomorrow, or I'll have your guts for spaghetti."\n-- a comic panel by Cotham
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."\n-- Will Rogers
"An open mind has but one disadvantage: it collects dirt."\n-- a saying at RPI
"The geeks shall inherit the earth."\n-- Karl Lehenbauer
"Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers."\n-- Chip Salzenberg
"Elvis is my copilot."\n-- Cal Keegan
"The fundamental principle of science, the definition almost, is this: the sole test of the validity of any idea is experiment."\n-- Richard P. Feynman
How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?\nLet's see, can you use a shell script for that or does it need a C program?
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.  Hate me because I'm beautiful, smart and rich."\n-- Calvin Keegan
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."\n-- Bertrand Russell
Always look over your shoulder because everyone is watching and plotting against you.
"Let us condemn to hellfire all those who disagree with us."\n-- militant religionists everywhere
Baby On Board.
"The net result is a system that is not only binary compatible with 4.3 BSD, but is even bug for bug compatible in almost all features."\n-- Avadit Tevanian, Jr., "Architecture-Independent Virtual Memory Management for Parallel and Distributed Environments:  The Mach Approach"
"The number of Unix installations has grown to 10, with more expected."\n-- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June, 1972
"Engineering without management is art."\n-- Jeff Johnson
"I'm not a god, I was misquoted."\n-- Lister, Red Dwarf
Brain off-line, please wait.
Are you having fun yet?
"The vast majority of successful major crimes against property are perpetrated by individuals abusing positions of trust."\n-- Lawrence Dalzell
"Perhaps I am flogging a straw herring in mid-stream, but in the light of what is known about the ubiquity of security vulnerabilities, it seems vastly too dangerous for university folks to run with their heads in the sand."\n-- Peter G. Neumann, RISKS moderator, about the Internet virus
"Seed me, Seymour"\n-- a random number generator meets the big green mother from outer space
"Buy land.  They've stopped making it."\n-- Mark Twain
"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."\n-- Dave Bowman, 2001
"There was no difference between the behavior of a god and the operations of pure chance..."\n-- Thomas Pynchon, _Gravity's Rainbow_
...the prevailing Catholic odor - incense, wax, centuries of mild bleating from the lips of the flock.\n-- Thomas Pynchon, _Gravity's Rainbow_
backups: always in season, never out of style.
"There was a vague, unpleasant manginess about his appearence; he somehow seemed dirty, though a close glance showed him as carefully shaven as an actor, and clad in immaculate linen."\n-- H.L. Mencken, on the death of William Jennings Bryan
"This generation may be the one that will face Armageddon."\n-- Ronald Reagan, "People" magazine, December 26, 1985
"Call immediately.  Time is running out.  We both need to do something monstrous before we die."\n-- Message from Ralph Steadman to Hunter Thompson
"The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down."\n-- H.L. Mencken
"You don't go out and kick a mad dog.  If you have a mad dog with rabies, you take a gun and shoot him."\n-- Pat Robertson, TV Evangelist, about Muammar Kadhafy
miracle:  an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment.\n-- Webster's Dictionary
"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone\nis responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be\ncreated in the form of computer programs."\n-- Joseph Weizenbaum, _Computer Power and Human Reason_
"If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong."\n-- Norm Schryer
"May your future be limited only by your dreams."\n-- Christa McAuliffe
"It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it."\n-- Henry Allen
"Life begins when you can spend your spare time programming instead of watching television."\n-- Cal Keegan
Eat shit -- billions of flies can't be wrong.
"We never make assertions, Miss Taggart," said Hugh Akston.  "That is the moral crime peculiar to our enemies.  We do not tell -- we *show*. We do not claim -- we *prove*."\n-- Ayn Rand, _Atlas Shrugged_
"I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and\nmy mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes."\n-- George Carlin
"My father?  My father left when I was quite young.  Well actually, he\nwas asked to leave.  He had trouble metabolizing alcohol."\n-- George Carlin
"So-called Christian rock. . . . is a diabolical force undermining Christianity\nfrom within."\n-- Jimmy Swaggart, hypocrite and TV preacher, self-described pornography addict, "Two points of view: 'Christian' rock and roll.", The Evangelist, 17(8): 49-50.
"Anyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin."\n-- John Von Neumann
"You must have an IQ of at least half a million."  -- Popeye
"Freedom is still the most radical idea of all."\n-- Nathaniel Branden
Aren't you glad you're not getting all the government you pay for now?
"I never let my schooling get in the way of my education."\n-- Mark Twain
These screamingly hilarious gogs ensure owners of     X Ray Gogs to be the life of any party.\n-- X-Ray Gogs Instructions
"Thank heaven for startups; without them we'd never have any advances."\n-- Seymour Cray
"Out of register space (ugh)"\n-- vi
"Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community."\n- Oscar Wilde
"Ada is PL/I trying to be Smalltalk.\n-- Codoso diBlini
"The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by mean of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding."\n-- Justice Louis O. Brandeis (Olmstead vs. United States)
"'Tis true, 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true."\n-- Poloniouius, in Willie the Shake's _Hamlet, Prince of Darkness_
"All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in.  I'm glad they are a snowman with protective rubber skin"\n-- They Might Be Giants
"Indecision is the basis of flexibility"\n-- button at a Science Fiction convention.
"Sometimes insanity is the only alternative"\n-- button at a Science Fiction convention.
"Old age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time."\n-- a coffee cup
"The most important thing in a man is not what he knows, but what he is."\n-- Narciso Yepes
"All we are given is possibilities -- to make ourselves one thing or another."\n-- Ortega y Gasset
"We will be better and braver if we engage and inquire than if we indulge in the idle fancy that we already know -- or that it is of no use seeking to know what we do not know."\n-- Plato
"To undertake a project, as the word's derivation indicates, means to cast an idea out ahead of oneself so that it gains autonomy and is fulfilled not only by the efforts of its originator but, indeed, independently of him as well.\n-- Czeslaw Milosz
"We cannot put off living until we are ready.  The most salient characteristic of life is its coerciveness; it is always urgent, "here and now," without any possible postponement.  Life is fired at us point blank."\n-- Ortega y Gasset
"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere."\n-- Dr. Seuss
"When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest."\n-- Bullwinkle Moose
Remember, an int is not always 16 bits.  I'm not sure, but if the 80386 is one step closer to Intel's slugfest with the CPU curve that is aymptotically approaching a real machine, perhaps an int has been implemented as 32 bits by some Unix vendors...?\n-- Derek Terveer
"An Academic speculated whether a bather is beautiful if there is none in the forest to admire her. He hid in the bushes to find out, which vitiated his premise but made him happy. Moral: Empiricism is more fun than speculation."\n-- Sam Weber
1 1 was a race-horse, 2 2 was 1 2. When 1 1 1 1 race, 2 2 1 1 2.
"I figured there was this holocaust, right, and the only ones left alive were\nDonna Reed, Ozzie and Harriet, and the Cleavers."\n-- Wil Wheaton explains why everyone in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" is so nice
"Engineering meets art in the parking lot and things explode."\n-- Garry Peterson, about Survival Research Labs
"Why can't we ever attempt to solve a problem in this country without having a 'War' on it?" -- Rich Thomson, talk.politics.misc
Professional wrestling:  ballet for the common man.
"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." - H.L. Mencken
"Never give in.  Never give in.  Never. Never. Never."\n-- Winston Churchill
"Never ascribe to malice that which is caused by greed and ignorance."\n-- Cal Keegan
"If you want to know what happens to you when you die, go look at some dead stuff."\n-- Dave Enyeart
"I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest."\n-- Alexandre Dumas (fils)
"Everyone's head is a cheap movie show."\n-- Jeff G. Bone
Life is full of concepts that are poorly defined.  In fact, there are very few concepts that aren't.  It's hard to think of any in non-technical fields.\n-- Daniel Kimberg
...I don't care for the term 'mechanistic'. The word 'cybernetic' is a lot more apropos. The mechanistic world-view is falling further and further behind the real world where even simple systems can produce the most marvellous chaos.\n-- Peter da Silva
Who are the artists in the Computer Graphics Show?  Wavefront's latest box, or the people who programmed it?  Should Mandelbrot get all the credit for the output of programs like MandelVroom?\n-- Peter da Silva
"As I was walking among the fires of Hell, delighted with the enjoyments of\nGenius; which to Angels look like torment and insanity.  I collected some of\ntheir Proverbs..." - Blake, "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"
HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 1 proof by example:\nThe author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it\ncontains most of the ideas of the general proof. proof by intimidation:\n'Trivial'. proof by vigorous handwaving:\nWorks well in a classroom or seminar setting.
Seen on a button at an SF Convention|Veteran of the Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force.  1990-1951.
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."\n-- Albert Einstein
"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite."\n-- Bertrand Russell, _Sceptical_Essays_, 1928
"Were there no women, men might live like gods."\n-- Thomas Dekker
"Intelligence without character is a dangerous thing."\n-- G. Steinem
"It says he made us all to be just like him.  So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."\n-- Frank Zappa
"It's not just a computer -- it's your ass."\n-- Cal Keegan
"BTW, does Jesus know you flame?"\n-- Diane Holt, dianeh@binky.UUCP, to Ed Carp
"I've seen the forgeries I've sent out."\n-- John F. Haugh II (jfh@rpp386.Dallas.TX.US), about forging net news articles
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some\nof the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"\n-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
"Bite off, dirtball." Richard Sexton, richard@gryphon.COM
"Oh my!  An `inflammatory attitude' in alt.flame?  Never heard of such a thing..."\n-- Allen Gwinn, allen@sulaco.Sigma.COM
(null cookie; hope that's ok)
"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."\n-- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Who alone has reason to *lie himself out* of actuality?  He who *suffers*\nfrom it."\n-- Friedrich Nietzsche
"You who hate the Jews so, why did you adopt their religion?"\n-- Friedrich Nietzsche, addressing anti-semitic Christians
"Little prigs and three-quarter madmen may have the conceit that the laws of nature are constantly broken for their sakes."\n-- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Faith:  not *wanting* to know what is true."\n-- Friedrich Nietzsche
>One basic notion underlying Usenet is that it is a cooperative. Having been on USENET for going on ten years, I disagree with this. The basic notion underlying USENET is the flame.\n-- Chuq Von Rospach, chuq@Apple.COM
Backed up the system lately?
"It doesn't much signify whom one marries for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else."\n-- Rogers
"If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry."\n-- Chekhov
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."\n-- Goethe
"In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved."\n-- Butler
"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, `What does woman want?'"\n-- Sigmund Freud
"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world,\nand do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming\nfeature.  They are all alike founded on fables and mythology."\n-- Thomas Jefferson
Remember:  Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.\n-- Dave Butler
"The preeminence of a learned man over a worshiper is equal to the preeminence of the moon, at the night of the full moon, over all the stars.  Verily, the learned men are the heirs of the Prophets."\n-- A tradition attributed to Muhammad
"The question is rather: if we ever succeed in making a mind 'of nuts and bolts', how will we know we have succeeded?\n-- Fergal Toomey "It will tell us." -- Barry Kort
