A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
A few hours grace before the madness begins again.
A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.
A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.
A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.
A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.
A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
Accent on helpful side of your nature.  Drain the moat.
Advancement in position.
After your lover has gone you will still have PEANUT BUTTER!
Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.
An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Are you a turtle?
Are you ever going to do the dishes?  Or will you change your major to biology?
Are you making all this up as you go along?
Are you sure the back door is locked?
Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
Be careful!  Is it classified?
Be careful!  UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!
Be cautious in your daily affairs.
Be cheerful while you are alive.\n-- Phathotep, 24th Century B.C.
Be different: conform.
Be free and open and breezy!  Enjoy!  Things won't get any better so get used to it.
Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.
Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
Best of all is never to have been born.  Second best is to die soon.
Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your life in such a mess.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of a tall black man with one blond shoe.
Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.
Beware of Bigfoot!
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
Beware the one behind you.
Blow it out your ear.
Break into jail and claim police brutality.
Bridge ahead.  Pay troll.
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Caution: Keep out of reach of children.
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Cheer Up!  Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
Chess tonight.
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Chicken Little was right.
Cold hands, no gloves.
Communicate!  It can't make things any worse.
Courage is your greatest present need.
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
Do not overtax your powers.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.
Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
Do what comes naturally.  Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Don't get to bragging.
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.
Don't plan any hasty moves.  You'll be evicted soon anyway.
Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.
Don't read everything you believe.
Don't relax!  It's only your tension that's holding you together.
Don't tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.
Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think.
Don't Worry, Be Happy.\n-- Meher Baba
Don't worry.  Life's too long.\n-- Vincent Sardi, Jr.
Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?
Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?
Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
Everything will be just tickety-boo today.
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs.
Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
Fine day for friends. So-so day for you.
Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Oh, and have a nice day!\n-- Bryce Nesbitt '84
Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
Give him an evasive answer.
Give thought to your reputation.  Consider changing name and moving to a new town.
Give your very best today.  Heaven knows it's little enough.
Go to a movie tonight.  Darkness becomes you.
Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's new lover.
Green light in A.M. for new projects.  Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.
If you can read this, you're too close.
If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn 365 useless things.
If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.
In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator.
Increased knowledge will help you now.  Have mate's phone bugged.
Is that really YOU that is reading this?
Is this really happening?
It is so very hard to be an on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
It was all so different before everything changed.
It's all in the mind, ya know.
It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.
Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is not worth sending.
Just to have it is enough.
Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Keep it short for pithy sake.
Lady Luck brings added income today.  Lady friend takes it away tonight.
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."\n-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
Long life is in store for you.
Look afar and see the end from the beginning.
Love is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.
Make a wish, it might come true.
Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
Never commit yourself!  Let someone else commit you.
Never give an inch!
Never look up when dragons fly overhead.
Never reveal your best argument.
Next Friday will not be your lucky day.  As a matter of fact, you don't have a lucky day this year.
Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.
People are beginning to notice you.  Try dressing before you leave the house.
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
Questionable day. Ask somebody something.
Reply hazy, ask again later.
Save energy: be apathetic.
Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.
Slow day.  Practice crawling.
Snow Day -- stay home.
So this is it.  We're going to die.
So you're back... about time...
Someone is speaking well of you.
Someone is speaking well of you. How unusual!
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
Stay away from flying saucers today.
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
Stay the curse.
That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
The time is right to make new friends.
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.\n-- George Gobel
There is a 20% chance of tomorrow.
There is a fly on your nose.
There was a phone call for you.
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
Things will be bright in P.M.  A cop will shine a light in your face.
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
This life is yours.  Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself.
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
Time to be aggressive.  Go after a tattooed Virgo.
Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Today is what happened to yesterday.
Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.\n-- Hunter S. Thompson
Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.
Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately, it can still be changed today.
Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.
Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.
Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live in eucalyptus trees.
Truth will out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.\n-- Ashleigh Brilliant
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.
Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.
What happened last night can happen again.
While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and are making another attack.
Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.
You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
You are always busy.
You are as I am with You.
You are capable of planning your future.
You are confused; but this is your normal state.
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the department of transportation.
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
You are fairminded, just and loving.
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.
You are going to have a new love affair.
You are magnetic in your bearing.
You are not dead yet.  But watch for further reports.
You are number 6!  Who is number one?
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.  Therefore you have few friends.
You are sick, twisted and perverted.  I like that in a person.
You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
You are standing on my toes.
You are taking yourself far too seriously.
You are the only person to ever get this message.
You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of trash.
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
