"How do you pronounce SunOS?"  "Just like you hear it, with a big SOS"\n-- dedicated to Roland Kaltefleiter
finlandia:~> apropos win win: nothing appropriate.
C:\> WIN Bad command or filename C:\> LOSE Loading Microsoft Windows ...
The state of some commercial Un*x is more unsecure than any Linux box without a root password...\n-- Bernd Eckenfels
Less is more or less more\n-- Y_Plentyn on #LinuxGER
Let's call it an accidental feature.\n--Larry Wall
.........    Escape the 'Gates' of Hell\n`:::'                  .......  ......\n:::  *                  `::.    ::'\n::: .::  .:.::.  .:: .::  `::. :'\n:::  ::   ::  ::  ::  ::    :::.\n::: .::. .::  ::.  `::::. .:'  ::. ...:::.....................::'   .::::..\n-- William E. Roadcap
Win95 is not a virus; a virus does something.\n-- unknown source
Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs (MACINTOSH)\n-- Topic on #Linux
Except for Great Britain. According to ISO 9166 and Internet reality Great Britain's toplevel domain should be _gb_.  Instead, Great Britain and Nortern Ireland (the United Kingdom) use the toplevel domain _uk_. They drive on the wrong side of the road, too.\n-- PERL book (or DNS and BIND book)
Save yourself from the 'Gates' of hell, use Linux."  -- like that one.\n-- The_Kind @ LinuxNet
I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody.  It doesn't generate revenue.\n-- Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux
Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).\n-- Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device
if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1], "-advice") == 0) {\nprintf("Don't Panic!\n");\nexit(42);\n}\n-- Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February '95, describing RCS
lp1 on fire\n-- One of the more obfuscated kernel messages
A Linux machine!  Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!\n-- Joe Sloan, jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO (or Linux) is the answer.\n-- Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown
In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?\n-- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi,
Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.\n-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules\n-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
win-nt from the people who invented edlin.\n-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
Apples  have  meant  trouble  since  eden.\n-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses\n-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
We are MicroSoft.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.\n-- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
Avoid the Gates of Hell.  Use Linux\n-- unknown source
Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy.  The phrase was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up"\n-- Alan Cox, iialan@www.linux.org.uk
Linux!  Guerrilla UNIX Development     Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.\n-- Mark A. Horton KA4YBR, mah@ka4ybr.com
----==-- _                     / /  \\n---==---(_)__  __ ____  __    / / /\ \ --==---/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ /   / /_/\ \ \ -=====/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\  /______\ \ \ A proud member of TeamLinux \_________\/ -- CHaley (HAC), haley@unm.edu, ch008cth@pi.lanl.gov)
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?" Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!\n-- Felix von Leitner, leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de
Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to be the HP-48 series of calculators.  They'll run almost anything.  And if they can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the HP-48 VT-100 emulator.\n-- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com
/*\n* Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to\n* terminate things with extreme prejudice. */ die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code);\n-- From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c
Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste\n-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
Linux: the choice of a GNU generation\n-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and those who can't.  There is a constant pitched battle between the two.\n-- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a
When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".\n-- Linus Torvalds
We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.\n-- Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu
Be warned that typing \fBkillall \fIname\fP may not have the desired effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user.\n-- From the killall manual page
Note that if I can get you to "su and say" something just by asking, you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should look into it.\n-- Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes
How should I know if it works?  That's what beta testers are for.  I only coded it.\n-- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting
I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS. Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.\n-- Lawrence Foard, entropy@world.std.com
Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that no conclusion can be drawn from them.\n-- Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)
If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work.\n-- Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications
Problem solving under Linux has never been the circus that it is under AIX.\n-- Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix
I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts')\n-- Olaf Kirch
On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK'\n- everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS. -- Tarl Neustaedter
By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since sliced bread.\n-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb.  Thank you.\n-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs.\n-- Dennis Ritchie
If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot of different places, just write a Unix operating system.\n-- Linus Torvalds
...and scantily clad females, of course.  Who cares if it's below zero outside.\n-- Linus Torvalds
...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead sit in front of your linux computer playing with the all-new-and-improved linux kernel version.\n-- Linus Torvalds
Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?\n-- Patrick Volkerding
All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...\n-- Larry Wall
And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs 19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank.\n-- Matt Welsh
Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of reliable, well-engineered commercial software?\n-- Matt Welsh
Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access.  I wonder if He has a full newsfeed?\n-- Matt Welsh
I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly.\n-- Matt Welsh
Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night hacking (and/or conversations with God).\n-- Matt Welsh
What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot water.\n-- Matt Welsh
...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread.\n-- Matt Welsh
...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly).\n-- Matt Welsh
...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer* being struck by lightning.\n-- Matt Welsh
..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar.  Believe me.  I speak from experience.\n-- Matt Welsh
[In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I thought of it.  (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less abusive.')\n-- Matt Welsh
I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than 10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't.\n-- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals.\n-- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
Whip me.  Beat me.  Make me maintain AIX.\n-- Stephan Zielinski
Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse for some of the brain-damages of minix.\n-- Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum
I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a fundamental error.  Be thankful you are not my student.  You would not get a high grade for such a design :-)\n-- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds
We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications.  Having the source code means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.\n-- Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software
Linux is obsolete\n-- Andrew Tanenbaum
Dijkstra probably hates me.\n-- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports on it, you know they are just evil lies.\n-- Linus Torvalds
We are Pentium of Borg.  Division is futile.  You will be approximated.\n-- seen in someone's .signature
Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.\n-- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing
quit   When the quit statement is read, the  bc  processor\nis  terminated, regardless of where the quit state-\nment is found.  For example, "if  (0  ==  1)  quit"\nwill cause bc to terminate.\n-- seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic
Sic transit discus mundi\n-- From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius
Sigh.  I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.\n-- Craig E. Groeschel
We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.\n- Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium
Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white light.  It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM FOR THE 386.\n-- Matt Welsh
The chat program is in public domain.  This is not the GNU public license. If it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.\n-- Copyright notice for the chat program
Manchmal stehe nachts auf und installier's mir einfach...\n-- H0arry @ IRC
'Mounting' is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in a hard disk unit in data systems, and, well, mounting during sex.\n-- Christa Keil
We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!\n-- Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan
But what can you do with it?\n-- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner
DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system\ncrashes, usually just before saving a massive project.  Easily cured by\nUNIX.  See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.\n-- David Vicker's .plan
MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years of careful development.\n-- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca
LILO, you've got me on my knees!\n-- David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the Dominos, and Werner Almsberger
I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few months.  I just love debugging ;-)\n-- Linus Torvalds
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple.  After that, it's all learned.\n-- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X interfaces
After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or speaker of intuitive likes".\n-- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X the intuitiveness of a Mac interface
Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive, because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows from that! Har har har!"\n-- Andy Bates on "intuitive interfaces", slightly defending Macs
> No manual is ever necessary. May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT.  That's the biggest Apple lie of all!\n-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI?\n-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
>Ever heard of .cshrc? That's a city in Bosnia.  Right?\n-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands
Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into super-edit-debug-compile mode?\n-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of code using nothing but vi or emacs.  AAAAACK!\n-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of filename completion.\n-- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder
Not me, guy.  I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads the Bible.  No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible.  Excuse me...\n-- More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc
On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT\n-- Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. Disquieting ...\n-- Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals then.\n-- Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).\n-- Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's
Never make any mistaeks.\n-- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report
+#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI) +       /* +        * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus +        * this makes the year come out right. +        */ +       year -= 42; +#endif\n-- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner
As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this kernel yet.  So if it works, you should be doubly impressed.\n-- Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3
People disagree with me.  I just ignore them.\n-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel
It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.\n-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator
Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready? Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here?\n-- From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin
Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.\n-- Mike Coleman
The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.\n-- Linus Torvalds
... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than it used to: we're considering changing the name from "Linux" to "InstaBOOT"\n-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26
... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(), which is why I never saw it.  Serves people who use that abomination right 8^)\n-- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26
It's a bird.. It's a plane.. No, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue. Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat..\n-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
Eh, that's it, I guess.  No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).\n-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)" series of kernels.  So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets and deliver this message of joy to the masses.\n-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'.\n-- Linus Torvalds
Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-)\n-- Unknown source
> Linux is not user-friendly. It _is_ user-friendly.  It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.\n-- Seen somewhere on the net
Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel..  As the "BugFree(tm)" series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the "ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another shining example.\n-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29
Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors are for wimps).\n-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
