1 bulls, 3 cows.
$3,000,000.
40 isn't old.  If you're a tree.
A crow perched himself on a telephone wire.  He was going to make a long-distance caw.
A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!\n[From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]\n-- Medieval prayer
A log may float in a river, but that does not make it a crocodile.
A prediction is worth twenty explanations.\n-- K. Brecher
A reverend wanted to telephone another reverend.  He told the operator, "This is a parson to parson call."
A squeegee by any other name wouldn't sound as funny.
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.\n-- Tennessee Williams
A young girl, Carmen Cohen, was called by her last name by her father, and her first name by her mother.  By the time she was ten, didn't know if she was Carmen or Cohen.
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.\n-- Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo
Adults die young.
Age is a tyrant who forbids, at the penalty of life, all the pleasures of youth.
Agree with them now, it will save so much time.
Ah, the Tsar's bazaar's bizarre beaux-arts!
Ahhhhhh... the smell of cuprinol and mahogany.  It excites me to... acts of passion... acts of... ineptitude.
All phone calls are obscene.\n-- Karen Elizabeth Gordon
All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.\n-- Grant Wood
Am I ranting?  I hope so.  My ranting gets raves.
AMAZING BUT TRUE ...\nIf all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end\nacross the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
AMAZING BUT TRUE ...\nThere is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it\nwould completely cover the Sahara Desert.
Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.\n-- Isaac Asimov
... and furthermore ... I don't like your trousers.
And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.\n-- Milt Barber
Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
Are we not men?
As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
Avec!
BAD CRAZINESS, MAN!!!
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they point upward from the floor -- especially in the dark.
Batteries not included.
BE ALERT!!!! (The world needs more lerts...)
BE ALOOF!  (There has been a recent population explosion of lerts.)
Before I knew the best part of my life had come, it had gone.
Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
Biggest security gap -- an open mouth.
Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
Blame Saint Andreas -- it's all his fault.
Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels.
Blue paint today.\n[Funny to Jack Slingwine, Guy Harris and Hal Pierson.  Ed.]
Boy!  Eucalyptus!
Boy, that crayon sure did hurt!
Bushydo -- the way of the shrub.  Bonsai!
"But Huey, you PROMISED!"\n"Tell 'em I lied."
But like the Good Book says... There's BIGGER DEALS to come!
By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.\n-- Charles Spurgeon
CF&C stole it, fair and square.\n-- Tim Hahn
Chapter VIII Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension, Salvatore Quanucci was suddenly squirted out of the universe like a watermelon seed, and never heard from again.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Confucius say too much.\n-- Recent Chinese Proverb
Congratulations are in order for Tom Reid. He says he just found out he is the winner of the 2021 Psychic of the Year award.
Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
Custer committed Siouxicide.
"Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it's not cockroaches!"\n-- Mom
Death to all fanatics!
Depart in pieces, i.e., split.
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
Did I say 2?  I lied.
Did it ever occur to you that fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Or that we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Did you hear about the model who sat on a broken bottle and cut a nice figure?
Did you know ... That no-one ever reads these things?
"Die?  I should say not, dear fellow.  No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."\n-- John Barrymore's dying words
Dignity is like a flag.  It flaps in a storm.\n-- Roy Mengot
Dime is money.
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
Do not use that foreign word "ideals".  We have that excellent native word "lies".\n-- Henrik Ibsen, "The Wild Duck"
Do people know you have freckles everywhere?
Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work?
"Do you believe in intuition?"\n"No, but I have a strange feeling that someday I will."
Do you have lysdexia?
Do YOU have redeeming social value?
Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle?
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.\n-- Anthony
Don't guess -- check your security regulations.
Don't I know you?
Don't let your status become too quo!
Don't quit now, we might just as well lock the door and throw away the key.
Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
Don't worry -- the brontosaurus is slow, stupid, and placid.
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac; you can always take something for it.
Double!
Dr. Jekyll had something to Hyde.
Dr. Livingston? Dr. Livingston I. Presume?
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Dreams are free, but there's a small charge for alterations.
Drop that pickle!
Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.\n-- The Adventurer
Duckies are fun!
Ducks?  What ducks??
Dungeons and Dragons is just a lot of Saxon Violence.
During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jello at his wife.  She had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.\nIn another fight, the wife decked him with a heavy glass pitcher. She's a women who conks to stupor.
Dyslexia means never having to say that you're ysror.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!
"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."\n-- Jeff Berner
Editing is a rewording activity.
Eggheads unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks.\n-- Adlai Stevenson
Events are not affected, they develop.\n-- Sri Aurobindo
Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.
Every day it's the same thing -- variety.  I want something different.
Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it.
Every time you manage to close the door on Reality, it comes in through the window.
Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.\n-- Beckett
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".
Everything might be different in the present if only one thing had been different in the past.
Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
Everything should be built top-down, except this time.
Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.\n-- Erwin Tomash
Everything you know is wrong!
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.\n-- Aldous Huxley
Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.\n-- Sven Italla
"Fantasies are free."\n"NO!! NO!! It's the thought police!!!!"
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
Fats Loves Madelyn.
Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture on a rock.\n-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.\n-- Adolfo Guzman
Flame on!\n-- Johnny Storm
Fly me away to the bright side of the moon ...
For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint.
For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.\n-- Titus Lucretius Carus
Force it!!! If it breaks, well, it wasn't working anyway... No, don't force it, get a bigger hammer.
FORCE YOURSELF TO RELAX!
Forest fires cause Smokey Bears.
Fortune's graffito of the week (or maybe even month)|Don't Write On Walls!\n(and underneath) You want I should type?
Fortune's Office Door Sign of the Week|Incorrigible punster -- Do not incorrige.
"Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly: "of course you know what 'it' means."\n"I know what 'it' means well enough, when I find a thing," said the Duck: "it's generally a frog or a worm.  The question is, what did the archbishop find?"
From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.\n-- F. Kafka
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.\n-- H.H. Williams
General notions are generally wrong.\n-- Lady M.W. Montagu
Give me a Plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh dome, and a place to stand, and I will drain the world.
GIVE UP!!!!
Given my druthers, I'd druther not.
Gloffing is a state of mine.
Go 'way!  You're bothering me!
Go away, I'm all right.\n-- H.G. Wells' last words.
Go climb a gravity well!
Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...\n-- Wally Shawn
God is Dead.\n-- Nietzsche Nietzsche is Dead. -- God Nietzsche is God. -- Dead
God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
God isn't dead.  He just doesn't want to get involved.
God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.
God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.\n-- Samuel Butler
God, I ask for patience -- and I want it right now!
Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
Half Moon tonight.  (At least it's better than no Moon at all.)
Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length.
Happy feast of the pig!
Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.\n-- Daniel Dennett
Have at you!
Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.\n-- Albert Einstein
"Have you lived here all your life?"\n"Oh, twice that long."
Have you locked your file cabinet?
Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk?
"He flung himself on his horse and rode madly off in all directions."
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
Hedonist for hire... no job too easy!
Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy and repetition.
HELP!  Man trapped in a human body!
HELP!  MY TYPEWRITER IS BROKEN!\n-- E. E. CUMMINGS
Here there be tygers.
"His eyes were cold.  As cold as the bitter winter snow that was falling outside.  Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew..."
Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Housework can kill you if done right.\n-- Erma Bombeck
How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
How come only your friends step on your new white sneakers?
How come we never talk anymore?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How kind of you to be willing to live someone's life for them.
How much of their influence on you is a result of your influence on them?
How untasteful can you get?
Huh?
I always wake up at the crack of ice.\n-- Joe E. Lewis
I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater.
I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
I can relate to that.
I can resist anything but temptation.
I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.\n-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."\n-- Ronald Mabbitt
I don't understand you anymore.
I don't wish to appear overly inquisitive, but are you still alive?
I enjoy the time that we spend together.
I exist, therefore I am paid.
I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
I feel sorry for your brain... all alone in that great big head...
"I found out why my car was humming.  It had forgotten the words."
I hate quotations.\n-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I hate trolls.  Maybe I could metamorph it into something else -- like a ravenous, two-headed, fire-breathing dragon.\n-- Willow
I have a terrible headache,  I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.
I have become me without my consent.
I have more hit points that you can possible imagine.
I have seen the Great Pretender and he is not what he seems.
I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
I hear the sound that the machines make, and feel my heart break, just for a moment.
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
I know it all.  I just can't remember it all at once.
I know you think you thought you knew what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you understood what you thought I meant.
I know you're in search of yourself, I just haven't seen you anywhere.
I live the way I type; fast, with a lot of mistakes.
I love treason but hate a traitor.\n-- Gaius Julius Caesar
I never did it that way before.
"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"\n-- Royal Floyd Mengot (Klaus)
I predict that today will be remembered until tomorrow!
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
I smell a wumpus.
I thought YOU silenced the guard!
I understand why you're confused.  You're thinking too much.\n-- Carole Wallach.
I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure.
I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
I want to reach your mind -- where is it currently located?
I will always love the false image I had of you.
I will make you shorter by the head.\n-- Elizabeth I
I will never lie to you.
I will not forget you.
I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!
I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.\n-- John Denver [I saw an eagle fly once.  Fortunately, I had my eagle fly swatter handy.  Ed.]
