Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.\n-- Albert Einstein
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in.\n-- Sydney J. Harris
Many a family tree needs trimming.
Many a man that can't direct you to a corner drugstore will get a respectful hearing when age has further impaired his mind.\n-- Finley Peter Dunne
Many people are desperately looking for some wise advice which will recommend that they do what they want to do.
Many people are secretly interested in life.
Many people feel that if you won't let them make you happy, they'll make you suffer.
Many people feel that they deserve some kind of recognition for all the bad things they haven't done.
Many people resent being treated like the person they really are.
Many receive advice, few profit by it.\n-- Publilius Syrus
'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.\n-- George Bernard Shaw
May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
Maybe Jesus was right when he said that the meek shall inherit the earth -- but they inherit very small plots, about six feet by three.\n-- Lazarus Long
"Maybe we can get together and show off to each other sometimes."
Meekness is uncommon patience in planning a worthwhile revenge.
Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts.\n-- Voltaire
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.\n-- Susan Ertz
Mind your own business, then you don't mind mine.
Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans; it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.\n-- Horace
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.\n-- J.K. Galbraith
More are taken in by hope than by cunning.\n-- Vauvenargues
More people are flattered into virtue than bullied out of vice.\n-- R.S. Surtees
Most of our lives are about proving something, either to ourselves or to someone else.
Most of the fear that spoils our life comes from attacking difficulties before we get to them.\n-- Dr. Frank Crane
Most of your faults are not your fault.
Most people are too busy to have time for anything important.
Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.\n-- H.L. Mencken
Most people can do without the essentials, but not without the luxuries.
Most people can't understand how others can blow their noses differently than they do.\n-- Turgenev
Most people deserve each other.\n-- Shirley
Most people feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained only by the disinclination of others to listen.  Reserve is an artificial quality that is developed in most of us as the result of innumerable rebuffs.\n-- W.S. Maugham
Most people have a mind that's open by appointment only.
Most people have two reasons for doing anything -- a good reason, and the real reason.
Most people in this society who aren't actively mad are, at best, reformed or potential lunatics.\n-- Susan Sontag
Most people need some of their problems to help take their mind off some of the others.
Most people prefer certainty to truth.
Mother told me to be good but she's been wrong before.
Murder is always a mistake -- one should never do anything one cannot talk about after dinner.\n-- Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
My brain is my second favorite organ.\n-- Woody Allen
My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say. And then say it with the utmost levity.\n-- G.B. Shaw
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.\n-- Woody Allen, on Epistemology
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.\n-- Oscar Wilde
My philosophy is: Don't think.\n-- Charles Manson
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.\n-- Abraham Lincoln
Needs are a function of what other people have.
Neither spread the germs of gossip nor encourage others to do so.
Never argue with a fool -- people might not be able to tell the difference.
Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.
Never explain.  Your friends do not need it and your enemies will never believe you anyway.\n-- Elbert Hubbard
Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning.\n-- Marlo Thomas
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
Never frighten a small man -- he'll kill you.
Never get into fights with ugly people because they have nothing to lose.
Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.
Never kick a man, unless he's down.
Never leave anything to chance; make sure all your crimes are premeditated.
Never pay a compliment as if expecting a receipt.
Never speak ill of yourself, your friends will always say enough on that subject.\n-- Charles-Maurice De Talleyrand
Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.
Never trust anybody whose arm is bigger than your leg.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never, ever lie to someone you love unless you're absolutely sure they'll never find out the truth.
Nezvannyi gost'--khuzhe tatarina.\n[An uninvited guest is worse than the Mongol invasion]\n-- Russian proverb
Nice boy, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.\n-- Foghorn Leghorn
No character, however upright, is a match for constantly reiterated attacks, however false.\n-- Alexander Hamilton
No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.\n-- Titus Maccius Plautus
No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas.
No man is useless who has a friend, and if we are loved we are indispensable.\n-- Robert Louis Stevenson
No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.\n-- E.W. Howe
No matter what happens, there is always someone who knew it would.
No one becomes depraved in a moment.\n-- Decimus Junius Juvenalis
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.\n-- W.S. Gilbert
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.\n-- Eleanor Roosevelt
No one can put you down without your full cooperation.
"No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid."
No one knows what he can do till he tries.\n-- Publilius Syrus
No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.\n-- Quintus Ennius
No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the one who's giving it.\n-- Hal Chadwick
No question is so difficult as one to which the answer is obvious.
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
No sooner said than done -- so acts your man of worth.\n-- Quintus Ennius
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.\n-- Kin Hubbard
Nobody knows the trouble I've been.
Nobody knows what goes between his cold toes and his warm ears.\n-- Roy Harper
Nobody wants constructive criticism.  It's all we can do to put up with constructive praise.
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.\n-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.\n-- Oscar Wilde
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.\n-- Quentin Crisp
O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for Thou knowest we will never change our minds.
Objects are lost only because people look where they are not rather than where they are.
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Oh this age!  How tasteless and ill-bred it is.\n-- Gaius Valerius Catullus
Oh wearisome condition of humanity! Born under one law, to another bound.\n-- Fulke Greville, Lord Brooke
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
Old age is always fifteen years old than I am.\n-- B. Baruch
Old age is the harbor of all ills.\n-- Bion
Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.\n-- Trotsky
Old age is too high a price to pay for maturity.
Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their inability to set a bad example.\n-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.\n-- H. Allen Smith, "Let the Crabgrass Grow"
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.\n-- Franklin P. Jones
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.\n-- Helen Keller
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, a rivalry of aim.\n-- Henry Brook Adams
One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious.\n-- Chateaubriand (1768-1848)
One is often kept in the right road by a rut.\n-- Gustave Droz
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.\n-- Clifton Fadiman
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
One of the large consolations for experiencing anything unpleasant is the knowledge that one can communicate it.\n-- Joyce Carol Oates
One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they need no answer.\n-- George Gordon, Lord Byron
One of the worst of my many faults is that I'm too critical of myself.
One would like to stroke and caress human beings, but one dares not do so, because they bite.\n-- Vladimir Il'ich Lenin
Only a fool has no doubts.
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.\n-- Laurence Peter
Only fools are quoted.\n-- Anonymous
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".\n-- Mark Twain
Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.\n-- Hannah Arendt
Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get him.
Optimism is the content of small men in high places.\n-- F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Crack Up"
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.\n-- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"
Others can stop you temporarily, only you can do it permanently.
Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing can ever be made.\n-- Immanuel Kant
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world isn't out to get you.
Paranoia is heightened awareness.
Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.
Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems.  It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.\n-- D.J. Hicks
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.\n-- Eric Hoffer
Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue.\n-- Ambrose Bierce, on qualifiers
People are like onions -- you cut them up, and they make you cry.
People are unconditionally guaranteed to be full of defects.
People don't change; they only become more so.
People don't usually make the same mistake twice -- they make it three times, four time, five times...
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.\n-- The Best of Will Rogers
People need good lies.  There are too many bad ones.\n-- Bokonon, "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
People respond to people who respond.
People say I live in my own little fantasy world... well, at least they *know* me there!\n-- D.L. Roth
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out on the pleasure.\n-- Russell Baker
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.
People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.\n-- Abigail Van Buren
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.\n-- Ogden Nash
People who make no mistakes do not usually make anything.
People who push both buttons should get their wish.
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
People who take cold baths never have rheumatism, but they have cold baths.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
People will do tomorrow what they did today because that is what they did yesterday.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Perhaps the world's second worst crime is boredom.  The first is being a bore.\n-- Cecil Beaton
Personifiers of the world, unite!  You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!\n-- Bernadette Bosky
Please don't put a strain on our friendship by asking me to do something for you.
Please don't recommend me to your friends-- it's difficult enough to cope with you alone.
Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.
Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.\n-- Mary Poppins
Pretend to spank me -- I'm a pseudo-masochist!
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.\n-- G.B. Shaw
Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth in motion.
Put your trust in those who are worthy.
Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.\n-- Oscar Wilde
"Quite frankly, I don't like you humans.  After what you all have done, I find being 'inhuman' a compliment."\n-- Spider Robinson, "Callahan's Secret"
Rarely do people communicate; they just take turns talking.
Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.\n-- Oscar Wilde, "The Importance of Being Earnest"
... relaxed in the manner of a man who has no need to put up a front of any kind.\n-- John Ball, "Mark One: the Dummy"
Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.\n-- Dave Butler
Revenge is a form of nostalgia.
Revenge is a meal best served cold.
Rincewind looked down at him and grinned slowly.  It was a wide, manic, and utterly humourless rictus.  It was the sort of grin that is normally accompanied by small riverside birds wandering in and out, picking scraps out of the teeth.\n-- Terry Pratchett, "The Lure of the Wyrm"
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength.
Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.\n-- George Orwell, "Reflections on Gandhi"
Sanity and insanity overlap a fine grey line.
Sanity is the trademark of a weak mind.\n-- Mark Harrold
Say no, then negotiate.\n-- Helga
Say something you'll be sorry for, I love receiving apologies.
Scenery is here, wish you were beautiful.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else.
"See - the thing is - I'm an absolutist.  I mean, kind of ... in a way ..."
Sentimentality -- that's what we call the sentiment we don't share.\n-- Graham Greene
Serenity through viciousness.
Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?\n-- J.M. Barrie
Shame is an improper emotion invented by pietists to oppress the human race.\n-- Robert Preston, Toddy, "Victor/Victoria"
She often gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it).\n-- Lewis Carroll
Short people get rained on last.
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
Sin boldly.\n-- Martin Luther
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily.  All other "sins" are invented nonsense.  (Hurting yourself is not sinful -- just stupid).\n-- Lazarus Long
Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.\n-- John Sloan
Since we're all here, we must not be all there.\n-- Bob "Mountain" Beck
Sinners can repent, but stupid is forever.
So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least we exist.\n-- T.S. Eliot, essay on Baudelaire
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Some don't prefer the pursuit of happiness to the happiness of pursuit.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.\n-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear lest she should catch a cold on overexposure.\n-- Samuel Butler
Some of the things that live the longest in peoples' memories never really happened.
Some people around here wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head.
Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some people have a way about them that seems to say: "If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a jerk."
Some people have parts that are so private they themselves have no knowledge of them.
Some people's mouths work faster than their brains.  They say things they haven't even thought of yet.
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
Someone will try to honk your nose today.
Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.\n-- Benjamin Disraeli
Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.\n-- Robert Stone
