A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.\n-- Ogden Nash
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
All intelligent species own cats.
Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.\n-- Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London
Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.\n-- R. Heinlein
"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"\n"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."\n"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."\n"That was the curious incident."\n-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
Auribus teneo lupum.\n[I hold a wolf by the ears.]\n[Boy, it *sounds* good.  But what does it *mean*?]
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.\n-- Garrison Keillor
Cats are smarter than dogs.  You can't make eight cats pull a sled through the snow.
Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind.
Chihuahuas drive me crazy.  I can't stand anything that shivers when it's warm.
"Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern technology.  Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat."
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives.\n-- Sue Murphy
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Dogs just don't seem to be able to tell the difference between important people and the rest of us.
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
I loathe people who keep dogs.  They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.\n-- August Strindberg
I love dogs, but I hate Chihuahuas.  A Chihuahua isn't a dog.  It's a rat with a thyroid problem.
If a can of Alpo costs 38 cents, would it cost $2.50 in Dog Dollars?
If anyone has seen my dog, please contact me at x2883 as soon as possible. We're offering a substantial reward.  He's a sable collie, with three legs, blind in his left eye, is missing part of his right ear and the tip of his tail.  He's been recently fixed.  Answers to "Lucky".
If you are a police dog, where's your badge?\n-- Question James Thurber used to drive his German Shepherd crazy.
"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do:  Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet."\n-- Jay Leno
In the eyes of my dog, I'm a man.\n-- Martin Mull
It is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide.
It was Penguin lust... at its ugliest.
It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for the cat.
Lost: gray and white female cat.  Answers to electric can opener.
Never try to outstubborn a cat.\n-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation.\n-- Fran Lebowitz
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
PENGUINICITY!!
Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.
"Shelter," what a nice name for for a place where you polish your cat.
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested.\n-- Francis Bacon [As anyone who has ever owned a puppy already knows.  Ed.]
Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar.  I feel like I've just got to bite a cat!  I feel like if I don't bite a cat before sundown, I'll go crazy!  But then I just take a deep breath and forget about it.  That's what is known as real maturity.\n-- Snoopy
Speaking of purchasing a dog, never buy a watchdog that's on sale. After all, everyone knows a bargain dog never bites!
The difference between dogs and cats is that dogs come when they're called.  Cats take a message and get back to you.
The main problem I have with cats is, they're not dogs.\n-- Kevin Cowherd
The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.\n-- C. Schulz
There are many intelligent species in the universe, and they all own cats.
There's no use in having a dog and doing your own barking.
To err is human, To purr feline.\n-- Robert Byrne
When man calls an animal "vicious", he usually means that it will attempt to defend itself when he tries to kill it.
When the fog came in on little cat feet last night, it left these little muddy paw prints on the hood of my car.
Who loves me will also love my dog.\n-- John Donne
With a rubber duck, one's never alone.\n-- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
