Nobody takes a bribe.  Of course at Christmas if you happen to hold out your hat and somebody happens to put a little something in it, well, that's different.\n-- New York City Police Commissioner (Ret.) William P. O'Brien, instructions to the force.
Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.\n-- Winston Churchill Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. -- F.J. Raymond
Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.\n-- Andrew Young
Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.\n-- Soren Kierkegaard
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."\n-- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack"
"Nuclear war would really set back cable."\n-- Ted Turner
O'Brien held up his left hand, its back toward Winston, with the thumb hidden and the four fingers extended.\n"How many fingers am I holding up, Winston?"\n"Four."\n"And if the Party says that it is not four but five -- then how many?"\n"Four."\nThe word ended in a gasp of pain.\n-- George Orwell
Oh, I don't blame Congress.  If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.\n-- Lichty & Wagner
Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.\n-- Will Rogers
Once is happenstance, Twice is coincidence, Three times is enemy action.\n-- Auric Goldfinger
Once you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.
One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.\n-- Will Durant
One organism, one vote.
One planet is all you get.
One seldom sees a monument to a committee.
Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.\n-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)
Our swords shall play the orators for us.\n-- Christopher Marlowe
Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.\n-- General Omar N. Bradley
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.\n-- Oscar Wilde
Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.\n-- Albert Einstein
Peace is much more precious than a piece of land... let there be no more wars.\n-- Mohammed Anwar Sadat, 1918-1981
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.\n-- Otto Von Bismarck
People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.\n-- John Kenneth Galbraith
People that can't find something to live for always seem to find something to die for.  The problem is, they usually want the rest of us to die for it too.
People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.
People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.\n-- Norman Cousins
Perhaps the most widespread illusion is that if we were in power we would behave very differently from those who now hold it -- when, in truth, in order to get power we would have to become very much like them.  (Lenin's fatal mistake, both in theory and in practice.)
Persistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political leaders.\n-- Marcus Tullius Cicero, "Ad familiares", 1st century BC
Pilfering Treasury property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are ruthless in punishing little thieves.\n-- Diogenes
Poland has gun control.
Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.\n-- W.H. Auden
Political speeches are like steer horns.  A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull inbetween.\n-- Alfred E. Neuman
Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.
Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.\n-- Nikita Khrushchev
Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.\n-- Arthur C. Clarke
Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.\n-- Walter Dwight
Politics -- the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.\n-- Oscar Ameringer
Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness.  Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.\n-- Albert Camus
Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.  In war, you can only be killed once.\n-- Winston Churchill
Politics is not the art of the possible.  It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.\n-- John Kenneth Galbraith
Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year.  And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.\n-- Winston Churchill
Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.\n-- Amy Gorin
Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organisation of hatreds.\n-- Henry Adams, "The Education of Henry Adams"
Politics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.\n-- Thomas Jefferson
Populus vult decipi.\n[The people like to be deceived.]
Post proelium, praemium.\n[After the battle, the reward.]
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Poverty begins at home.
Poverty must have its satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.\n-- Don Herold
Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.\n-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987
Power is poison.
Power is the finest token of affection.
Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.\n-- Lord Acton
Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.\n-- Henry Adams
President Reagan has noted that there are too many economic pundits and forecasters and has decided on an excess prophets tax.
Put a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.\n-- Napoleon Bonaparte, "Maxims"
Question authority.
QUESTION AUTHORITY. (Sez who?)
Question: Is it better to abide by the rules until they're changed or help speed the change by breaking them?
Remember folks.  Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.\n-- Jim Samuels
Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western\nCivilization? Gandhi:	I think it would be a good idea.
Reunite Gondwondaland!
Rev. Jim:	What does an amber light mean? Bobby:		Slow down. Rev. Jim:	What...   does...  an...  amber...  light...  mean? Bobby:		Slow down. Rev. Jim:	What....     does....     an....     amber....     light....
"Rights" is a fictional abstraction.  No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood.  Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.\n-- Lazarus Long
Rule the Empire through force.\n-- Shogun Tokugawa
Sauron is alive in Argentina!
Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.\n-- Richard Nixon
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
Sed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes?\n[Who guards the Guardians?]
Sentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison.  "If this is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners," he remarked, "she doesn't deserve to have any."
Serfs up!\n-- Spartacus
Shah, shah!  Ayatollah you so!
Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.\n-- Samuel Johnson
Signs of crime: screaming or cries for help.\n-- The Brown University Security Crime Prevention Pamphlet
Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.\n-- Charles DeGaulle
Since aerosols are forbidden, the police are using roll-on Mace!
[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.\n-- Winston Churchill
... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.\n-- Voltarine de Cleyre
So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.\n-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen.\n-- Woodie Guthrie
Stamp out organized crime!!  Abolish the IRS.
Such a foolish notion, that war is called devotion, when the greatest warriors are the ones who stand for peace.
Support your local police force -- steal!!
Support your right to arm bears!!
Support your right to bare arms!\n-- A message from the National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association
Surprise!  You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit!  Just type in your name and social security number.  Please remember that leaving the room is punishable under law: Name #
Take Care of the Molehills, and the Mountains Will Take Care of Themselves.\n-- Motto of the Federal Civil Service
Take your Senator to lunch this week.
TANSTAAFL
Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."\n-- Russell Long
Taxes are going up so fast, the government is likely to price itself out of the market.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.\n-- Napoleon I
That government is best which governs least.\n-- Henry David Thoreau, "Civil Disobedience"
That's where the money was.\n-- Willie Sutton, on being asked why he robbed a bank It's a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night. -- Willie Sutton
The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.\n-- Bill Murray
The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.\n--  Abraham Lincoln
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.\n-- John Maynard Keynes
The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity. To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.\n-- Nietzsche
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
The Constitution may not be perfect, but it's a lot better than what we've got!
The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.\n-- Hilaire Belloc
The Crown is full of it!\n-- Nate Harris, 1775
The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern.  Every class is unfit to govern.\n-- Lord Acton
The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.\n-- F. Dostoyevski
The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn.  Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.\n-- Russell Baker
The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.\n-- Ambrose Bierce
The doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man really clever who has not found that he is stupid.\n-- Gilbert K. Chesterson
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.\n-- Buckminster Fuller
The eyes of taxes are upon you.
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.\n-- Bertrand Russell, in "Marriage and Morals", 1929
The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.\n-- Saul Alinsky
The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.\n-- Abbie Hoffman
The founding fathers tried to set up a judicial system where the accused received a fair trial, not a system to insure an acquittal on technicalities.
The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.\n-- Gore Vidal
The government has just completed work on a missile that turned out to be a bit of a boondoggle; nicknamed "Civil Servant", it won't work and they can't fire it.
The Government just announced today the creation of the Neutron Bomb II. Similar to the Neutron Bomb, the Neutron Bomb II not only kills people and leaves buildings standing, but also does a little light housekeeping.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.\n-- Charles de Gaulle
The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.\n-- Justice Louis D. Brandeis
The greatest disloyalty one can offer to great pioneers is to refuse to move an inch from where they stood.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.\n-- Albert Einstein
The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the author's name on the title page.\n-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals, 1831
The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.\n-- Alexis de Tocqueville
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.  Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.\n-- Will Rogers
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.\n-- Churchill
The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.\n-- Henry David Thoreau
The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.\n-- Kin Hubbard
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.\n-- Woody Allen
"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them."\n-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.  The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.\n-- Albert Einstein
The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd.  The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.\n-- Alan Ashley-Pitt
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President.  All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"\n-- Will Rogers The vice-presidency ain't worth a pitcher of warm spit. -- Vice President John Nance Garner
The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.\n-- Wilhelm Stekel
The Moral Majority is neither.
The more control, the more that requires control.
The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
The new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around.  I hope I don't get run over again.
The Official Colorado State Vegetable is now the "state legislator".
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.\n-- David Gerrold
The poetry of heroism appeals irresitably to those who don't go to a war, and even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy."\n-- Celine
The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.\n-- Buckminster Fuller
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.\n-- Mario Cuomo
The primary theme of SoupCon is communication.  The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme:\nLaw Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be:\nAvoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials\n-- M. Gallaher
The problem with most conspiracy theories is that they seem to believe that for a group of people to behave in a way detrimental to the common good requires intent.
The problem with this country is that there is no death penalty for incompetence.
The public demands certainties;  it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false.  But there are no certainties.\n-- H.L. Mencken, "Prejudice"
The public is an old woman.  Let her maunder and mumble.\n-- Thomas Carlyle
The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.\n-- Thomas Macaulay, "History of England"
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president?  What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?\n-- Dave Barry, "On Presidential Politics"
The revolution will not be televised.
"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."\n-- Sheridan
The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.\n-- Lewis Carroll
The scum also rises.\n-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors.  History is written by the survivors.\n-- Max Lerner
